Joe Biden’s enterprising son, Hunter, has a creative side. He’s an artist. Not just any artist and certainly not a starving one. He is . . .
It’s not unusual for people in the public eye to have an artsy side. Winston Churchill comes to mind. Angelina Jolie recently parted with this original Churchill for about $11 million which is probably more than she got when she parted with her last husband.
But, of course, the last husband probably wasn’t as original as Churchill. And besides, Churchill won WWII, while I’m guessing Jolie’s last husband lost WWIII.
Adolf Hitler was not half bad as an artist, as you can see from this painting, though of course as a world leader he was very, very bad — he was literally Donald Trump. (Attorney General Merrick Garland made me add the last phrase on penalty of the FBI designating me a domestic terrorist.)
Hitler’s not-half-bad paintings go for around $50,000. Fully-half-bad ones cost $100,000.
The works of these hobbyist artists typically have little commercial value during their lifetimes. I rather like George W. Bush’s paintings but they go for as little as $1,000. At that price, he’d make more money clearing brush on his ranch.
But then there’s Hunter Biden. Mr. Biden’s paintings go for something like $75,000 to $500,000. Each. After the Big Guy’s 10% cut, that’s still a pretty penny for a pretty ugly picture.
But give the Big Guy’s little guy credit. He’s a regular Renaissance Man. According to the Ukrainians who hired him for a sweet 6-figure gig as an advisor, he’s a shrewd oil tycoon. According to the Chinese, he’s an expert in Chinese business and other international trade. According to his, um, female friends, he’s an accomplished cinematographer who both acts and directs for fun and profit. And this energetic man still finds time to get high on coke and lose his laptops. By next year, I fully expect Hunter to be a chess Grandmaster and be giving cello duets with Yo Yo Ma. Call him Hu Hu Bi.
Joe says he’s very proud of Hunter. I’d be proud too if I were sharing a bank account with a relative who was raking in grafty millions to which I was entitled 10%, as Joe was with Hunter.
One of Hunter’s paintings is in the top image of this column. The other painting in that image is by TheAspenBeat, which has actually been offered a mid-5-figure sum for the same (but I don’t sell my paintings). I could get as much money as Hitler, with whom I’m often compared, for paintings that are perhaps equally not-half-bad. For not-half-bad paintings, that sum is not-half-bad, but it’s nothing like the not-at-all-bad half mil that Hunter’s masterpieces fetch.
I’ll let you figure out which painting is mine and which is Artiste Hunter’s. If you’re interested in paying a half mil for either one, I also have a bridge to Brooklyn that I’ll sell you.
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