For God’s sake, and ours, Joe needs a ventriloquist

When Joe Biden occassionally emerges like Punxsutawney Phil from his Delaware basement where he spends approximately 30% of his time under the care of “doctor” Jill, he’s instructed not to talk extemporaneously. Instead, the people he refers to as “they” (why doesn’t a reporter ask him who “they” are?) put a teleprompter in front of him and instruct him to simply read it.

Even that proves too much for him. Last week’s trip to Europe was one big choreographed photo-extravaganza for him to portray himself as a leader, statesman, and sentient being.

He failed, failed, and failed. He insisted on ad-libbing to the detriment of himself, Ukraine, America and the world. It was even to the detriment of the Russians because it’s likely to prolong the war.

The only beneficiary of Biden’s verbal incontinence was Vladimir Putin, whom his country is likely to rally round after Biden called him a “butcher.” I suppose Biden imagines he’s standing up to Corn Pop again, but neither Putin nor Corn Pop were spotted at that particular press conference. Putin is indeed a butcher, but the President’s braggadocio while surrounded by Secret Service Agents is unhelpful. That’s why his handlers walked it back, only to have Biden walk back the walk back, followed by the handlers walking back Biden’s walk back of the walk back.

The overall message from the White House is, “this guy Biden does not speak for the President of the United States.”

Like many dementia patients, Biden gets angry and even combative when confronted with his condition. This guy who is clearly the stupidist person in any room he enters has the chutzpah to call reporters stupid. He is reportedly rude with White House staff. He denies having said things that he plainly said on videotape viewed by millions.

For his rare so-called press conferences, he’s told in advance which reporters are safe to call upon. His staff pre-approves their questions, and he’s supplied cheat sheets of answers. Reporters who won’t play along don’t get called on.

Even armed with the cheat sheets, Biden manages to “f*ck things up” as Barack Obama once said of the man. He apparently is unable or unwilling to read the scripted answer on the cheat sheet designed to correct his ad-libbing, and instead ad-libs some more.

What to do? These weekly, even daily, episodes of dementia are no longer amusing. Their benefit to the Republican party has reached the point of diminishing returns – Biden’s poll numbers are approaching rock bottom, after all. Meanwhile, he’s making our tumultuous world downright dangerous.

Here’s the solution.

Don’t let Biden say a thing. Just sedate him, buckle him to the podium, prop his eyes open with toothpicks, and feed him some chewing gum to make his mouth move. Then a ventriloquist crouching under the podium can throw his voice upward to answer the questions.

The role of a dummy should come naturally to Joe Biden. He can be the new Charlie McCarthy, but not as smart.

I’ve just saved the world.

21 thoughts on “For God’s sake, and ours, Joe needs a ventriloquist

  1. I have to wonder what goes on in the “smoke filled rooms” as Democrats clutch their pearls and ask “what do we do now?” He’s so far gone that it’s an embarrassment to our country but sending out the giggling cackling Harris is no improvement…the passage of time you know.

    What did they think they were getting when Clyburn and a few operatives propped him up just as we was ready to fail for the third or fourth time? He was an ineffective, corrupt hack with minimal political skills even when in his so called prime. Now he is just a bumbling fool with nukes. Lord have mercy on us.

    • Since our society and our politics are already in the hands of crazed alchemists who turn everything they touch into dross — sacramental marriage into sodomite unions, men into women (one of whom they then select as “Woman of the Year”), public health into government tyranny, education into indoctrination, equality into equity, justice into social justice, and so on — I think the “homunculus” alternative is already in the works. Nancy Pelosi looks and acts more like The Bride of Frankenstein every week, and Biden comes back a little smaller after every long Delaware weekend in the laboratory.

      • “Homunculus” is a slight malapropism. Strictly, a homunculus is a supposed small-sized biological replica of a human being. These were believed to have been created by alchemists. The debate was whether they had souls or not. The consensus was that they did not.

        The term is used jocularly to refer generally to the idea of an artificially created human being. Strictly, a homunculus is android. I don’t think there would be any problem with a 30cm Joe Biden. With careful stage management, no one would know the difference.

      • There you go — an artificially created “little man” with no soul. As you say, no one would know the difference, except perhaps to marvel at his now measured, coherent speech.

  2. I get my jollies when watching the journalists who cheered Biden on just because he wasn’t Trump fall over themselves pretending that he’s normal.
    I question how that mob got away with it. I’m constantly asking why Biden was put up as the best candidate for the job, what Biden’s wife must have been thinking. There was a lot said about a stolen election. I don’t know. What I do know is that the Democrats did not act ethically and were surrounded by people who were happy to play along. That’s more of a worry.

      • She wanted to be president, not just First Lady. My theory is that she basically achieved that goal. I think she’s the main speeechwirter for Biden. Whomever it is, it’s clearly not a professional writer.

      • How nice if the free world could be free of the appalling Joe Biden. What about considering the 25th amendment? But then again, the world would be forced to cope with the equally appalling Kamala Harris. I suspect it was the original plan.🙄

  3. Kamala, given a teleprompter, will read it. Biden is failing so badly now that Kamala will be an improvement.

    The problem is that once she’s President, the communists will be able to select whoever they want as VP, without bothering about the will of the voters. They did a horrible job selecting Biden and Harris. Who will they choose?

  4. Pictures of his cheat sheet with approved questions for the drive by journ-0-lists to ask and the politically correct response. Easy to find.

  5. It’s time for a good old fashioned coup. The current version of our “modern world” is bound internationally through economics, energy, fast and routine world-wide air travel, many more ties,…..and 18 countries either having or directly making nuclear weapons. With the 2 Majors (Ch & Russ), recognizing the POTUS as being out of “Prime Time”, either or both will be encouraged to make some kind’a move soon; maybe before our mid-terms in November; definitely before 2024. This country cannot survive 2+++ more years with the current set of idiots in /around/outside the White House. The Dems won’t impeach. The 25thers won’t act. We cannot wait. Its time for a good old fashioned coup.

    With our military being the only true organization whose naval, air, and army-marine power matches/exceeds the 2 Majors, its time for them to keep our POTUS from accidently or stupidly causing WW III. First, The SECDEF places all of our strategic forces on DEFCON 3 as a “warning” signal to our adversaries. Second, place the DC National Guard and the Congressional Police Force under the SECDEF. Next, Force the election of a new House Speaker, the best patriotic D or R, I don’t care which. Then have a “committee” of both parties demand and get the resignation of the P & VP. Just like the committee did with Richard Nixon. Finally, move the patriotic Speaker in as the new President under the Constitution’s succession authority.

    Stupid leaders, murderers, killers, and idiots all over the world have killed billions over the millenniums of world history. Our current 2 Majors are just like those from the past. We can’t allow (Butcher calling, gas-um, invade Ukraine-em, take-um out) Biden to enter that dark circle.

    • @arn: What you are speaking of is a legal political process, not a coup. It is a convoluted legal response to the issue of how to have a government succession without an election. Interesting that the three megapowers drawn into this world crisis all have succession and transfer of power issues. Since 1917, in Russia now and when the Soviet Union was representing Russia, there always has been a succession problem. Since the Chinese revolution, the People’s Republic always has had a maximum leader with permanent tenure. America has no process for the transfer of power during a presidential term.

      • We do have the process called Impeachment and the 25th Amendment. However both Parties are dedicated to their Parties and not the Country. If Congress, both Houses, were dedicated to the best interests of the country, either process could be completed in a few weeks or so by dedicated Patriots in the majorities. Washington (George) warned about the tyranny of political parties. That’s what we have now.

    • This would be a sane idea, BUT, years ago, Yomama gutted what WAS a decent military. Over 200 flag offices “retired early” for not going along with the idiot-in-chief’s ideas. What you have left (Milley, et al.) are worthless “Perfumed Princes”–so called by Col. David Hackworth—who is no doubt spinning in his grave so fast that he could be a source of energy!

  6. The Republic ended with the last election. It was good while it lasted.

    We await either Sulla or Caesar.

    Sulla would be better in as much as he killed the jerks, attempted to re-instate the Roman Republic and retired in disgust.

    We will, eventually, get Caesar, though.

  7. If there is person responsible for foisting this Drooling Idiot on the country, that would be Congressman James Clyburn of South Carolina.

    • I find the corollary more pertinent — “The election you allow to be stolen gives you the government you deserve.”

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