After Joe Biden was purportedly elected president of the United States, he moved into the White House and still spends a good – some would say bad – 60% of his time living and “working” there. It’s convenient because it’s also the preferred residence of his make-shift physician, make-shift policy advisor, make-shift stair-assister and make-shift stage-navigator, “doctor” Jill.

The White House has also been the dog house of several canine companions of Joe. The first First Dog went by the name of Champ, until he lost his title. He died and went to the White Dog House in the sky.

It was the best thing any Biden dog has ever done.

Before Champ died in office, Joe got a replacement. It was a female dog he named Kamala.

Just kidding. The replacement’s name was Major, who had a habit of pulling rank on the Secret Service agents in the vicinity. The Secret Service made no secret of these maneuvers. A typical report was as follows:

“[O]n Monday, the first family’s younger dog, Major, was surprised by an unfamiliar person and reacted in a way that resulted in a minor injury to the individual.” 

In English, that means he bit an agent. According to the Secret Service, it was the latest of “multiple occasions” of “aggressive behavior.”

Joe’s dogs get more than one bite.

Iran is sponsoring worldwide terrorism and building nuclear weapons with which it promises to obliterate the Hama-oppressors illegally occupying what used to be called Judea but is now called Palestine. Meanwhile, shifty “doctor” Jill became, in her words, “obsessed” about the proclivities of Joe’s dogs:

“I’ve been getting obsessed with getting our dogs settled . . . . So that’s what I’ve been obsessed with, getting everybody settled.”

Settled. Sounds like “doctor” Jill has an obsessive obsession disorder about getting everyone settled. Maybe she’ll slip the pooches some of Joe’s settling meds.

Then came Commander. Commander was a gift from Joe’s brother. He may have arrived with a collar engraved “loan repayment.”

By the way, there’s no proof that the macho names that Joe gives his dogs is to compensate for something or another. In fact, that rumor has all the hallmarks of Russian disinformation.

Commander has bitten at least 11 people. Two or three were taken to the emergency room. An article in Politico says that Secret Service reports obtained through the Freedom of Information Act describe an incident where:

“a uniformed division officer was transported to the hospital after Commander, unleashed, bounded down a flight of stairs and charged. One of the White House ushers warned the officer not to back up. Too late. The officer was bitten twice, once on the tricep and once on a leg. The officer used a nearby steel cart as a shield against further attack.”

Commander was finally relieved of his command and sent . . . somewhere. We know where Commander is about as well as the Commander in Chief knows where he himself is at any given moment. He might wind up in the federal witness protection program residing in a safehouse with mobster-informers. Commander, I mean.

Let’s take an inventory of the Biden clan. There’s a father who compulsively tells ridiculous and self-aggrandizing lies. Sometimes he doesn’t even bother to make the lies up, but instead plagiarizes someone else’s story.

There’s a son who is a drug addict, an influence peddler, a deadbeat dad, and a contemptuous Congressional subpoena ignorer. There’s a granddaughter who has IRS liens on her house.

There’s a brother who sells political favors to foreign governments like candy and sends part of the proceeds to the Big Guy (more of the compensatory names, Joe?). The brother’s wife is a lawyer who has never really practiced law but instead apparently married into the family for the purpose of joining the family “business.”

There’s the shifty wife, “doctor” Jill, who comically demands that she be addressed as such because she has an Ed.D. For those not steeped in phony baloney academic titles, that’s a doctorate in . . . [drum roll] . . . education. The first sentence of her “doctorate” thesis contains a typographical error.

There’s a granddaughter who appears to be a charming young girl, but Joe refused to acknowledge her existence for the first four years of her life because his deadbeat son disputed that he was the father (even after a DNA test proved he was).

Joe himself has a J.D., namely a doctorate in law, just as every other lawyer has. But even with all these “doctors” around, there seems to be no real doctor in this very sick White House.

Which brings us back to the dogs. It’s been seriously suggested that when the cameras are not rolling, Joe is not very nice to his dogs, nor they to him. There’s a lot of fear-biting in this White House.

Worst. First. Family. Ever.