Why do Democrat Jews vote for Democrat Jew-haters?

It’s a puzzle. It’s a conundrum. To use Winston Churchill’s quote about the WWII Soviets, it’s a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.

Why do Jews vote for Democrats?

Okay, I can understand why they vote against certain Republicans. For example, notwithstanding his defense of Israel, Donald Trump sometimes comes across as . . . well, let’s just say he does not come across as Albert Einstein.

A culture such as the Jews might find Trump’s social media postings and his in-person “weave” a bit off-putting. This off-putting is apparently not offset in their minds by his support for Israel.

But Trump is not the only Republican rejected by the Jews. The Jews as a group have never voted for any Republican Presidential candidate.

Never.

Was Eisenhower too dumb? This was the general in charge of Allied Forces in Europe, the bold genius who helped mastermind D-Day, and the good soldier who opened the concentration camps.

What about Richard Nixon? A man is not called “tricky” because he’s stupid. Nixon was clearly smarter than LBJ or Harry Truman.

How about Ronald Reagan? All he did was win the Cold War.

Reagan’s vice president who succeeded him, George H.W. Bush, was one of the most accomplished men in DC at that time.

The son of Bush senior, namely George W, was at least as smart as the men he ran against, Al Gore and John Kerry.

Was Mitt Romney who made zillions on Wall Street dumb? I should be so dumb.

Even Donald Trump was clearly smarter than his opponent the last two times.

The Jews voted against all of them, and every other Republican Presidential candidate. Why?

I have a theory.

Jews coming to America were much different than the ones here today. Jewish immigrants were more like the Irish or the Italian immigrants. They suffered discrimination for their ethnicity and religion (Catholicism in the case of the Italians and most of the Irish). All had heavy foreign accents that served to identify them, and the first language of the Italians and Jews was not even English.

They naturally voted for the political party that held itself out as just like them – working-class folk. The Democrats were the party that did not control the country clubs that refused to admit them.

The Irish and Italian immigrants assimilated within two generations, as most immigrants do. For example, I say I’m Scottish but the truth is that I have just one grandparent from Scotland. The rest came from here and there. Likewise, most of the Irish and Italian immigrants married outside their ethnicity and even their faith.

Today, there is no Irish vote or Italian vote, because there’s no longer a discrete Irish culture or Italian culture in America. Getting drunk on St Patrick’s Day doesn’t count, and Columbus Day has been cancelled.

But there’s still a Jewish vote, because there’s still a discrete Jewish culture. That culture is the reason that the Jews survived for thousands of years as a minority ethnic group with a distinctive non-Christian religion despite enormous pressures.

The Jews’ survival skills were forged in the furnace of Europe and, before that, the Middle East. There, they learned not to blend in because they weren’t allowed to.  They learned not to marry outside their faith because nobody outside their faith would marry them.

The Jews made a virtue of this terrible discrimination and periodic pogroms. Being ostracized from mainstream culture drove them into an observance and even obsession over their own distinctive culture, religion and traditions.

You have your Christmas, they said, but we have our Hannukah.  You have your New Year, but we have our Rosh Hashanah. You have your Easter, but we have our Passover.

And you have your Republicans, but we have our Democrats. In short, Jews vote for Democrats because it’s tradition.

Most traditions are good. There’s a Darwinian aspect to them; bad habits die out and never rise to the level of a tradition. In the context of Jewish culture and religion, tradition has been a very good thing, a sine qua non of these extraordinary and vulnerable people who comprise only 0.2% of the world’s population.

But I submit that the Jewish tradition of voting for Democrats is now unhealthy for them and us.

The Torah is full of traditions that may have been right for their time but are not right for the present. No longer is it appropriate for Jews to push goats off cliffs, decapitate calves, or light bonfires on mountain peaks.

Or vote blindly for barbarians who seek to destroy them. Even Tevye compromised tradition to save his people.

Gutters are for needles

A municipality in California (of course) recently ticketed some parents for collecting the needles left in the gutter by addicts. The parents thought that needles containing heroin residue and whatnot were dangerous to their children.

The municipality didn’t disagree, but stated that the parents’ collection and disposal methods might not be in accordance with regulations. Apparently, it was better to leave the needles in the gutter for collection and disposal by the children.

So here we are in the year of our Lord 2026. Gutters are for needles.

This episode suggests that some many of our rules are outdated – like collecting heroin needles from the gutter so that children don’t. We need a revised rulebook to live by.

Here goes.

*Sidewalks are for pooping and tenting.  While we’re on the subject of gutters that are used for the disposal of needles, note this tragedy. The persons disposing of the needles in the gutter tend not to have bathroom facilities. Sure, they could go to the local homeless shelter, but they don’t allow needles there, and that’s unfair, uncivilized and unconstitutional. So where are vagrants supposed to poop?

On the sidewalk, that’s where. Sidewalks are for pooping.

Still on the subject . . .  where are they supposed to sleep?

In their tent, that’s where. Where’s the tent supposed to be? On the sidewalk near their bathroom, of course.

*Clinics are for masturbation. Our blue “cities” are setting up sexual relief clinics where vagrants can go to “hygienically and privately” masturbate. Pooping in public in the bathroom/gutter is one thing, but you don’t expect them to do private things in the public bathroom/gutter, do you? Eww.

*No hiking on the hiking trails. I recently went for a little hike on a trail near my house in the Colorado Rockies. I accessed it indirectly from the campus of one of the branches of Colorado Mountain College, that college-y thing in Colorado that teaches kids how to be, I dunno, a road construction flagman, in exchange for about $100,000 in student loans that the kid will surely pay back once he “graduates” and gets that coveted flagman job.

The trail was a bit odd with banked curves and lots of bicycle tire tracks. It was often braided as if a bicycle had veered off and then back onto the trail. Litter was strewn about.  

Finally, I was at the trailhead, which I had dodged at the outset of my hike by accessing the trail in that odd way through the “college” campus. The trailhead sign informed me that hikers were prohibited on the hiking trail. It was for bicycles only, including e-bikes.

I spent the rest of the day imaging John Denver humming Rocky Mountain High as he kicked up dust atop an e-bike and cursed at me for hiking.

*Semi-trailers are for illegals. In California (again?) they give commercial drivers’ licenses – truck drivers’ licenses – to illegals whose driving skills are commensurate with their English skills. We don’t verify that they can tell a STOP sign from a YIELD sign because it would be racist to ask them.

*Assassination is for cheering. Assassination is cheered by an entire demographic that is subset of an entire political party. The victim can be a health care executive, a political figure or even three young children. The point is that the victim was misbehaving and so they deserved assassination.  (How many times did I tell you not to play with your food? BANG!)

But the death penalty for murderers is still verboten. Murderers – that word is so pejorative! – instead get celebrated.

*Terrorism is to be celebrated. This is really an extension of the prior rule. If murderers get celebrated, then mass murderers get mass celebrated.

And so, the barbarians who invaded Israel to butcher, rape, murder, burn, and hostage-take the men, women, boys, girls, wives, mothers, husbands, fathers and sons of Israel . . . well, they’re freedom-fighters. They’re heroes. They’re today’s climate activists, today’s trans advocates, today’s DEI enforcers.

Dare I say it? They’re today’s Woke, Version 2.

Wealthy people are for taxing and hating. Under the old rules, we admired people who earned a lot of money for their cleverness and hard work, not to mention their job-creation and philanthropy.

That’s passé now. Today, we know they’re greedy. To treat their greed affliction, we generously offer to relieve them of some of their money. Taking their money entails a significant risk that we ourselves will contract their greed affliction, but we do it anyway because that’s the kind of person we are.

And then we hate them. Because that, too, is the kind of person we are.

Merit is not for measuring. In the old unenlightened days, we made a fetish of merit. Better people produced better results, we thought. And so, we measured which people were better.

Now we know better. Er, differently. We know that we’re all better. Except people with dark skin who are more better. Er, betterer.

There you have it. These are today’s rules to live by. Feel free to add others.

Will the Heavenly Hosts hang with Steinem or Parton?

It’s been a good week for dying. People we’ve lost and who’ve lost us include Dolly Parton and, now, Gloria Steinem. Only in America would we get these two. Talk about diversity!

Their strategies for succeeding were different, though equally effective. Gloria presented herself as a good-looking, engaging, ambitious, smart woman. Dolly presented herself as a good-looking, engaging, ambitious, dumb woman – who was actually very smart.

Both were personable. Dolly was personable because you don’t get ahead in show biz without it. Gloria was personable because, at the time, you didn’t get ahead in politics without it. (Today, we’ve devolved into a political world with alternative ways to get ahead.)

There’s no word on whether Dolly and Gloria were friends, but I’ll bet they weren’t. It’s likely that their first meeting will be at the Pearly Gates. Gloria will probably negotiate her way through, and Dolly will probably bust her way through. Neither will be turned away.

So, which one will their Heavenly Hosts hang with?

To be candid, I don’t really know. I’ve never been up to The Place. I have few connections to The Place. As a former lawyer, I may never get to The Place, and I have to admit that everything I know about The Place is inadmissible double or triple hearsay.

Between Dolly and Gloria, I do have my personal favorite. I really want to say that it’s Dolly. I suspect that she shares my conservative leanings; I like women who are not vertically taller than I am; she was famously generous; and it’s good that she will allllllllwaaays love me since I’m not always very lovable.

But, no, my favorite is Gloria. I know, we will argue politics a lot. She’s threateningly tall at 5’9” in case I were the type of man who feels threatened by that. She said she had an abortion. She helped women for a while but her dogmatism ultimately hurt them. Her hair was always parted down the middle, which was okay for a 34-year-old looker but a little stale for a 90-year-old.

But she had a certain moxie that said, “I live by my own rules, not yours. No gimmicks, no artifice.”

I like that in a woman, even though – or perhaps because – the resulting friction produces some heat. Maybe that attitude is the most important thing she taught women. Do your own thinking and act like who you are. Women are not here to be a man without a penis. Be a woman, not a possession. Woman up.  

Some of today’s men could use the same lesson. We’re here to do our own thinking and to act like who we are. We’re not here to be a woman with a penis (or without). Be a man, not a possession. Man up.  

Many Jews seem conflicted about Jewry

The Ashkenazi Jews are a remnant of the Jewish diaspora. A couple thousand years ago, they fled from Judea to Europe, and then were driven east. They did not assimilate, but deliberately kept to themselves to practice a religion and engage in a culture that was persecuted through the ages.

Just in case they had aspirations for integrating into the local population, the locals ensured that they did not. Marrying a Jew was a good way for a gentile to get disowned and disinherited, and vice versa.

DNA analysis suggests that at one point the Ashkenazim dropped to a population of as few as 350 people spread over the European continent. They were very nearly extinguished.

But in some ways, what didn’t kill them made them stronger. They have an inbred vulnerability to certain diseases but a near immunity to others.

Ashkenazim often score high on standardized IQ tests and they’ve succeeded inordinately in science, law, literature and business. In analyzing the reasons for this success, it’s difficult to tease apart the role of their admirable minds from the role of their admirable culture.

It’s a culture that values education, achievement, wealth, power, and – not least – family.

I’ve wailed at the Western Wall, both literally and metaphorically, though I’m not Jewish. Then again, maybe now we’re all Jewish. In a way, everyone with a claim on Western Civilization is Jewish. I claim a heritage from Moses, Jesus, Paul, Freud, Einstein, Spielberg, Oppenheimer, Kasparov, Ben-Gurion, Kissinger, Bellow, Salk, Kafka, Chagall and Dylan – all Jews.

Thus, I’m saddened to see some of today’s prominent Jews equivocate in their defense of the Jewish state of Israel.

No less that the Senator Charles Schumer – the first Jewish Senate Minority Leader – is willing to throw Israel under the bus if necessary to save his job. No less than Rahm Emmanuel, Chief of Staff in the Obama White House and an advisor to Bill Clinton before that, is willing to put Israel back in the Jewish ghetto if it puts him back in the White House.

The Middle East has always been a complicated place. If only all of it were like Israel – largely an arid land with few natural riches. Instead, vast areas are cursed by black gold. The energy dependency of the world requires us to pay attention to this place. To mollify, cajole, bully and beg the barbarians.

It’s easy and habit-forming to blame things on the Jews and to see their oil-rich adversaries as the victims, notwithstanding the appalling atrocities committed in the name of those “victims.”

But as a matter of history, it was the Jews who were the victims. Their persecution for thousands of years culminated with the systematic murder of a third of their population. After the event that put an upper case “H” on the word Holocaust, the Jews swore that they would be victims never again.

In short, the Jews refuse to be exterminated. Should they be blamed for that?

For those who see the Jews as the source of the problem in the Middle East, I have a question: What would you have them do differently?

Are the Jews supposed to give up their ancient homeland, to give up Israel? Are they supposed to go back to the lands of their persecution and victimhood – to Europe, to America, to Russia? Because that’s what the Palestinians demand.

Look at a map. “From the river to the sea” refers to the River Jordan and the Mediterranean Sea. That’s all of Israel. The slogan chosen by the Palestinians candidly calls for the abolition of Israel. 

The Ashkenazim of Europe were persecuted for a thousand years, but against all odds they maintained their identity, their culture and their religion. In their faith and unanimity, they did well and they did good. If only their American successors could be so united and so brave.

The decline in violent crime correlates to a decline in testosterone levels

The Trump administration has heralded a decline in violent crime in the past few years. America is a safer place.

We’re told that this should be credited to Republican policies for greater law enforcement and more vigorous criminal prosecution. That may be so. I’m certainly in favor of both those policies. But maybe there’s also another factor at work.

The graph* above shows a clear correlation between declining violent crime and declining testosterone levels. To be sure, there’s an exception around the year 2020 where violent crime spiked but testosterone levels did not. It’s safe to say the spike in violent crime at that point was due to something other than a spike in testosterone levels.

Gee, what could be the reason for the spike in violent crime around 2020? Oh yeah. There was a worldwide pandemic where the Biden administration and many Democrat-controlled cities shut down law enforcement.

Apart from this Covid pandemic crime spree, the correlation is clear.

Now, of course, correlation does not equal causation. Just because a decline in violent crime correlates with a decline in testosterone does not mean that the decline in testosterone caused the decline in violent crime. Logically speaking, it could just as well be the reverse – that the violent crime reduction caused the testosterone reduction. (Are they still castrating criminals?) Or it could be that both were caused by some other factor (but I can’t imagine what) or that each was caused by different factors.

But nonetheless, we’re left with the correlation.

In this particular case, there are reasons to think that correlation does equal causation. Testosterone is the male hormone that is responsible for dense muscle mass, risk-taking and road rage.

Testosterone is the main reason that males are far more likely than females to engage in mountaineering, car racing, entrepreneurialism, Seal Team 6-ing, boxing, exploration – and violent crime.

The males most likely to engage in violent crime are the young ones, in whom testosterone levels are the highest. And among young men, young Blacks are far more likely to engage in violent crime than young whites. Is it any surprise that young Black men tend to have higher testosterone levels – and incarceration levels – than young white men?

That said, let me also say that I’m a fan of testosterone, despite (or maybe because of) its mucho-macho side. In fact, the phrase “testosterone poisoning” makes me want to punch someone. But I have to admit, there are benefits to having less of the stuff. And detriments.

*The graph was generated at my request by AI using data from the FBI on violent crime and from the NIH on testosterone levels. I should mention that AI does not buy my theory because . . . sociology. In any event, cursory research finds that no one has noted this correlation. The contrarian in me says that proves it’s right. If you disagree, let’s settle it outside.

Eurocrats want to roast and eat the elderly

Over 100,000 Europeans will die heat-related deaths this summer. That’s up from the usual summer toll.

I’m sure there are worse ways to die but I have this vision of an old man alone in his boxer shorts in his apartment, simmering and sweltering, fanning himself, wishing one of his daughters would call, and finally keeling over from heat stroke.

Days later, neighbors find his rotted remains when the stench wafts down the hallway.

The main reason for this tragic carnage is that Europeans disapprove of air conditioning. They say it uses too much electricity. Producing that electricity requires the burning of fossil fuels which contribute to . . . you know where this is headed . . . global warming.

Too much global warming, and you’re likely to die of . . . you know where this is headed, too . . . heat stroke.

When it comes to heat stroke, the Europeans apparently believe it’s better to die now in the discomfort of your own un-air-conditioned home than later in a warmed globe.

This Luddite loathing of air conditioning means that only about 20% of European homes and offices are air conditioned and habitable during a heat wave. That compares to about 90% in America.

Air conditioning does indeed use electricity, and generating that electricity does indeed burn fossil fuels (though not always – France generates two-thirds of its electricity with nuclear reactors).

But the cost of air conditioning is more than merely a matter of life and death. It also involves money. A recent study found that the productivity of workers during a European heat wave drops significantly. That drop could be avoided if air conditioning were common. In short, air conditioning would largely pay for itself.

Ah, but there’s another big cost to adding air conditioning to homes in Europe, a hidden cost.

About 85% of the heat-related deaths in Europe are elderly people. Think of all the money that is saved by discarding those unproductive old folks. The Eurocrats have certainly thought of it.

In short, Europe’s lack of air conditioning costs lives but saves money. Lengthened life spans for the elderly is a problem. Roasting them is a solution.

Next, they’ll also think of an economically effective use for the corpses. Soylent Green, anyone?

Cambridge has blood on their hands

By now, you know the story. A man named Jason Arday was hired by Cambridge to be its “youngest Black* professor.”

Cambridge hired Arday in the wake of the George Floyd death, a tragic death that had as much impact on Great Britain as on Minnesota. What we learned from the George Floyd episode was not that we should treat or incarcerate mentally disturbed, substance-abusing criminals. No, that lesson was too much for those Days of Wokeness.

What we learned instead was that anytime a person dies in police custody, the police must have murdered him – if he was Black.

Just as rebels holler “To the barricades,” the DEI advocates hollered, “To the reparations!”

The reparations were not to take the form of putting the likes of George Floyd into in an expensive institution for treatment, rehabilitation and, if necessary, punishment. The reparations were instead to take the form of putting a person who the DEI advocates view as someone just like George Floyd (to the DEI advocates, they all look the same) into a professorship at Cambridge. Call it the George Floyd Chair.

It didn’t matter whether the Black person was ever a victim of slavery or if his ancestors ever were. What mattered was that the person was Black.

And so, it was no problem that the George Floyd Chair was filled with Jason Arday, even though his parents immigrated to London from Ghana and there is no evidence that he or any ancestor suffered slavery (if they did, it was the Black-on-Black kind).

Arday was a piece of work. Outside the classroom, he bragged that he once ran 600 miles in 6 days. As if that was not enough, he once ran 30 marathons – a 26-mile race – in 33 days. In his spare time, he said, he raised $6 million dollars for charity in the span of a few weeks.

He said he barely spoke until he was 11. He suffered two brain tumors.

Inside the classroom, he was touted as brilliant. Any claims to the contrary were dismissed as “racist.”

Yes, there was much ado about the phenom named Jason Arday. It turned out to be much ado about nothing. I was all lies.

There were no brain tumors. He spoke at the usual age. He apparently ran no marathons, much less 30 in 33 days. The $6 million he single-handedly raised for charity in a short time was actually raised over a long period of time by a charity group he was loosely affiliated with.

The thing that did him in, however, was not his superhuman fabulism. It was his academic fraud. It was discovered that his PhD thesis contained over 100 instances of plagiarism. Some of the plagiarism was page upon page of exact copying.

The initial reaction by Cambridge was of course, “More racism! By racist critics!” Arday himself literally called the police when journalists sent him emails asking for his comment. (The police belatedly dismissed his complaint.)

Despite the stonewalling by both Cambridge and Arday, his plagiarism was too stark to be ignored. Whole pages were cut and pasted, including the grammatical errors. Cambridge finally announced that it was undertaking an investigation.

Arday resigned from his prestigious and tenured position later that day. Cambridge must find another Black man for the George Floyd Chair.

Yesterday, this story went from amusing to bemusing. Arday was found dead in London. Police say there is no evidence of foul play. That’s police talk for suicide. Although I condemn Arday’s fraud and his attacks on critics who sought to point it out, part of me feels bad for him and his family.

Here’s who I don’t feel bad for: Cambridge.  

It is often observed that affirmative action may feel good to the advocates, but it does no favors to the beneficiaries. The beneficiary is put into a position they’re not ready for, a position where they are bound to fail. Indeed, the failure rate for affirmative action Black students is significantly higher than for ordinary white students.

Lies are compounded by more lies. Soon, a little resume exaggeration balloons into “I ran 30 marathons in 33 days!” Soon, the Black person is no longer a person, he’s just Black. 

Cambridge is not full of dummies. The fabulism claimed by Arday was a red flag, and the plagiarism must have been an open secret. Cambridge didn’t care, for they had their Black.

Cambridge’s charges of “racism!” against accomplished academics who raised good faith questions was a coverup, and one that potentially damaged those academics.

All this was for Cambridge to feel good about itself, to fill the George Floyd Chair.

Cambridge, you have blood on your hands.

*Most Black people want an upper case “B” and so that’s what I give them. It costs me nothing. Most white people want a lower case “w” and so that’s what I give them. That, too, costs me nothing. As for the whole ridiculous controversy, I have bigger fish to fry.

Woke — and still crazy after all these years

AOC informs us with a laugh that “Woke 1 was crazy!”

Yes, it was. Remember the craziness of DEI, where we admitted kids to college or hired employees based not on the content of their character but on the color of their skin?

Remember when crazed wokesters advocated defunding the police? Or defunding the military? Or opening the southern border?

Recall how they crazily wanted to abolish the prisons or, better yet, to stop prosecuting the criminals?

Don’t forget the crazy new words and phrases that wokesters invented like “Latinx” or “birthing persons” where middle-aged white people mutilate beautiful languages in the name of “inclusiveness.” And don’t forget the crazy new surgical procedures like “gender affirmation” where middle-aged white doctors mutilate the genitals of confused pubescent kids.

AOC wants the wokesters to get a do-over. Call it Woke 2. New “rhetoric” is now required for this new totalitarianism, she says.

But this isn’t a matter of rhetoric. This is a matter of policies.

So, let’s talk about policies. What’s the new policy of Woke 2 on their crazy policy of releasing murderers and other criminals from prison? What about abolishing the military? What about DEI?

What’s the new policy of Woke 2 on crazy words and phrases like “Latinx” and “birthing person”? What about the craze of mutilating the genitals of confused children? What about the crazy opening of the southern border? What about coddling the crazy barbarians of Hamas? What about everyone who got canceled — by crazies — for being out of step with the craziness of woke?

AOC offers no answers, only laughter.

The only change I see between Woke 1 and Woke 2 is the addition of canceling Thanksgiving. And the proclamation that fireworks on Independence Day “sucks,” apparently because it celebrates the birth of the nation.

As for the other things, I suspect that the wokester 2’ers, like the wokester 1’ers, want to do all the same. They just want to do it under a new name with no accountability for the last time.  

“Woke” is now considered a joke. But it’s not funny. These people cost us lives, and cost us trillions of dollars. AOC and the rest of the wokesters can’t laugh that away and get a redo of Woke 1 by just calling it Woke 2. 

There’s an old saying: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Enes doesn’t rhyme with it but he does have one

Here’s the latest chapter in the WNBA’s attempt to figure out what the W in their name stands for. A former NBA player named Enes Kanter Freedom has declared eligible for the WNBA draft.

I can’t bring myself to call this person a woman, so I won’t. I’ll instead use plural pronouns. I’d rather be ungrammatical by using a plural pronoun when referring to a single person, than be unscientific by referring to a man as a woman. 

You see, Enes’ name rhymes with “tennis.” It does not rhyme with, well, you what it does not rhyme with. But they do have one.

They also have the size and weight of a person who has one, and then some. They stand about 6’10” fully erect. That stature will of course make them the tallest player in the WNBA. Moreover, they last weighed about 250 pounds which will make their muscle mass about double that of the average WNBA player.

Enes is not a bad player for a man, but they are no longer good enough for the NBA. In the NBA before they retired, they got a few minutes of playing time (and only counted as one player!) and more than a few million dollars of compensation.

But here’s the hickey. Enes was born a male. Enes grew up a male. Enes had the flood of testosterone at puberty of a male. Enes played as a male. Enes played with and against males.

Enes now says they “identifies” as a woman. Hence the WNBA draft eligibility.

This forces the WNBA to put a little gloss on the W in their name, right? And I don’t mean lip gloss. The WNBA will have to decide whether Enes is a W.

My guess is that they (I’m referring to the WNBA) will decide that they (I’m referring to Enes) is not a W. However, their (referring again to the WNBA) grounds for that decision will be rather subjective. They (the WNBA) will let a psychologist say that they (Enes) is not really a W. But meanwhile, the psychologist hired by them (Enes) will say that they (Enes) really is.

There’s more. Now another guy, er, gal, wants to do the same thing. It’s the person shown above alongside Enes. No word on whether they will shave their beard.

Here’s a radical idea. What if we say that “W” means “woman,” that “woman” means a person with two X chromosomes, and that plural pronouns refer to a plurality of people?

In Spain, they don’t say “Push 2 for English”

Painting of “The Tower of Babel” by Endre Rozada, 1958

When I call an investment firm or a doctor’s office to speak with a person, it’s bad enough that I have to listen to a voice mail that gives me six options, none of which includes speaking with a person.

But there’s something else that bugs me. It’s “Press 2 for Spanish.” That part of the recording is often in Spanish.

That Spanish part is usually preceded by “Press 1 for English.”

But wait a minute. I already have the recording in English. Now I have to press 1 for some more?

As for option to converse in Spanish with the recording, I have never felt the need for that, and I doubt I ever will. I’m fed up with being given this option. Being fed up is all the worse when I have to listen to the six options, none of which includes speaking with a person. Who speaks English.

 In my extensive travels in Spain and my limited travels in Latin America, I’ve noticed that they don’t return the favor. I’ve never heard a recording in Spain say, “Press 2 for English.” (Or Arabic, even in view of Spain”s recent influx of Moroccans.)

Ah, you say, but what about the people in America who speak only Spanish?

I say, to hell with them. Or more specifically, to home with them.

I dare say that practically everyone legally in America speaks English. The ones who speak only Spanish are invariably here illegally.

The banks and doctors’ offices should not be facilitating the presence of illegals in America. Enough already.