Caitlyn Jenner has balls

Caitlyn Jenner was born as a boy named Bruce and grew into a heck of a man. After his college football career was cut short by a knee injury, the young man switched to the decathlon. Competitors must excel in 10 very different sports including jumping, sprinting, pole vaulting, shot putting, discus throwing and distance running.

Bruce was a dedicated and gifted athlete. He won the Gold Medal in the Olympic Decathlon in 1976 at a time when the Soviet block routinely cheated with drugs.  He not only won, but set a world record in doing so.  

In the game of life, Bruce was just getting warmed up. He’s been married thrice and fathered six children. He became successful as a writer, auto racer, businessman and television star. He married a Kardashian and, unrelatedly, was on the cover of Wheaties. There was a lot to admire about Bruce.

But the thing I admire most about the man is that he looked deep within himself and found a herself. Bruce became Caitlyn.

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Please don’t pepper-spray the vagrants

Ross Camp

I’m as frustrated as you about vagrants and the local government lefties who enable them. These filthy feral humans camp on the sidewalks, poop in the gutters, accost respectable citizens and beg for handouts.

And the vagrants are even worse.

Several questions must be asked. First, no one seriously contends that people can’t get a job in this wealthy society bespeckled with help-wanted signs. So why exactly are vagrants on the streets?

There are two answers. First, it’s because we encourage them. We give them free stuff ranging from free food to free money to free sympathy to free drugs. We declare them to be victims, which in today’s culture is a more heroic status than hero. In the old days, we told them to get off the streets else they’d earn a night in the drunk tank, while now we reward, romanticize and glorify them.

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Fellow Coloradans, let’s boycott the boycotters

Don't take me out to the ballgame,
Don't take me out to the crowd.
Don't buy me some peanuts 'cuz I'm not broke, 
And I don't care if I never get woke.

Joe Biden lied. And then he lied about lying. And then his press secretary lied about him lying about lying.  

They pitched nothing but spitters. They figured the umpire wouldn’t call them on it – the media is mostly in the bag for the Democrats – and they gambled that nobody else would notice.

But we did notice. If this were baseball, they’d all be banned for life.

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Modern education is crap — or Lincoln, math and the CDC are racist

The Center for Disease Control announced in February that schools could safely reopen, and that it was “critical” that they do so. They said the risk of COVID transmission in schools was minimal — even if teachers were not vaccinated — and the damage to children by remaining closed was maximal.

Experience in the schools that have opened bears that out. There have not been cases of widespread transmission of COVID in reopened schools. That’s undoubtedly because children are nearly immune to COVID. And their teachers retire long before they reach the COVID-vulnerable post-65 age group.

That CDC announcement that teachers, vaccinated or not, should return to work was two months ago, though it didn’t get much media attention because teachers are overwhelmingly Democrats and so are the media. Since then, many teachers still refuse to return to work even though many have been vaccinated in the meantime.

So much for “follow the science.”

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Modern art is crap – is Jackson Pollock better than The Aspen Beat?

Which of these large paintings is better? One is by renowned artist Jackson Pollock, and one is by yours truly, The Aspen Beat.

I’m not known as an artist – heck, I’m not even known as a writer – but I can still apply paint to canvas, to myself and to everything else in the vicinity. That’s where my similarities with Pollock end.

Pollock was born in Cody, Wyoming, got expelled from two high schools, liked Mexican murals, was an alcoholic, and died drunk when he rolled his convertible. The car interior wound up looking like one of his paintings.  

On an artistic level, Pollock is less admirable. His technique was to put the canvas on the floor and drip paint onto it. He called it his “drip technique.”

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Modern music is crap – is WAP as good as Dylan?

Wet A** P*ssy is “the defining song of 2020” according to so-called critics/journalists who make a living fawning over this crap. WAP debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard 100. For weeks it squatted atop the charts like a sweaty naked fat woman on a toilet.  

In “the raunchiest set the Grammy’s have ever seen” that annual television info-award-mercial featured a live performance of WAP. Incompetently acclaimed and shamelessly promoted by those same so-called critics/journalists, the spectacle held all the artistry of a Mexican border town donkey show.

It’s no coincidence that television ratings for the Grammy’s were down 53% this year. I agree with the fawning fools on one thing, however: This is indeed the defining song of 2020.

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