Author Archives: onthebeatontrack

Vaccinating anti-vaxxers’ children is associated with autism in their parents

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Regular Beatniks know that since last summer I’ve been enrolled in the clinical trials for the Pfizer COVID vaccine. Because it’s a “blinded” study, I never really knew whether I’d received the vaccine or a placebo.

The clinic called me last week to tell me that Pfizer was unblinding the study for people in my demographic (translation: old farts) if we wished. Moreover, Pfizer was offering to administer the vaccine to those whom the unblinding revealed had received the placebo.

I accepted Pfizer’s offer. They then told me I’d received the placebo. I suspected as much based on the complete absence of any side effects, as well as the antibody test that I took a week after getting the injection which told me I had no COVID antibodies. (Getting the antibody test was not prohibited by the paperwork I signed.)

Pfizer then offered me the vaccine. I accepted their offer, and received the vaccine this morning. 

I’m not dead, and there’s no evidence that I’ve even stopped being a regular Normie. In fact, I’m not feeling a thing other than RAGING INTERMINABLE PRIAPISM.

But. But, but, but. But.  Let’s connect some dots:

First dot: While under the care of the placebo, I didn’t catch COVID.

Second dot: While under the care of the placebo, I didn’t have any side effects.

Third dot: Some of the vaccine takers did have some side effects.

Connecting these dots tells me and anyone else who has no need for multiple data points (Facebookers, I’m talkin’ about you) that the placebo is as effective as the vaccine in preventing COVID. Moreover, it prevents COVID without the side effects sometimes produced by the vaccine.

Ergo, we should stop distributing the vaccine, and should instead just inject everyone with the placebo.

I recognize that this is not as easy as it sounds. Because it requires clinical testing of the placebo in a blinded study against, um, a placebo. That’ll take years. Or perhaps decades under a Biden administration. Can you say “Operation Slow-Mo-Joe”?

And it requires a distribution plan concocted and implemented by the government. That’ll take more years.

There will of course be heated debate when the wokesters contend that racial minorities should get the placebo first. Because social justice. But that’ll be stymied by racial minorities themselves who won’t want the placebo. Because Tuskegee.

Here’s the biggest problem. The anti-vaxxers are certain to become anti-placebo-ers. I can see the theory. The saline solution contains microchips that Bill Gates will use to monitor our brain waves and, when it’s convenient for him and not-at-all convenient for the rest of us, he will dial the microchips up to lethal voltage.

Which will lethal-ize us. All for the purpose of reducing world population to exactly one.

Ah, heck, I’m just joking. But here’s something serious. Recent studies have shown that the anti-vaxxers’ worry about vaccines causing autism is totally legit.

In those studies, vaccines were administered to the children of antivaxxers. Chickenpox vaccine, mumps vaccine, measles vaccine, you name it. The children did not develop chickenpox, mumps, measles or you name it. Nor did they develop autism.

But in later cognitive tests of the children’s parents, the parents scored very poorly. That’s right, there’s a strong correlation between vaccinations of the children of antivaxxers and cognitive dysfunction in their parents.

There’s just so much we don’t know when we’re messin’ with gene stuff. And we won’t know it for a long time. Really, do you want to put your parents at risk of cognitive dysfunction by being one of the first vaccinations in the second group of 30 million?

It gets worse. Autism in the parents of anti-vaxxers’ children might be the least of the vaccination side effects.

You see, in my own case, both my own parents have been deceased for years. Soooooo …. in my case there’s a direct correlation between being injected with the vaccine and having dead parents.

Take heed. If you get the vaccine today, it could give your parents autism tomorrow or even kill them years ago. The only prudent thing is to refuse the vaccine, and let them administer it instead to some foolish guinea pigs. Like my friends and family.

Pharma performed a miracle, but government’s botched rollout killed tens of thousands

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Although they aren’t exactly scientists, the media said that COVID vaccines would take years or even decades to develop and test and that they would probably be only about 50-60% effective.

It’s not clear whether the media really believed their own dire predictions, or whether they were just rooting for the virus because they thought it hurt Trump and hurt America, both of which they like to see hurt. Although (or perhaps because) they’re not scientists and not very smart, they are Democrats after all.

In any event, the pharmaceutical industry proved them wrong. They developed new vaccines with new technology in a few months, then finished testing them in a few more months. The effectiveness is about 95%.

Expect media reports that in the 5% of the population where the vaccine seems not to work, it’s all Trump’s fault. The headline will read something like, “Although impeached and out of office, Trump is still killing people.”

Now that the scientists, physicians and businessmen at pharmaceutical companies have performed scientific, medical and business miracles, we can conquer the pandemic and get back to watching proper football in sports bars by simply taking the vaccine. Right?

No, not right. Because the simple distribution of the vaccines wound up the responsibility of the people who brought you the Obamacare website and VA Hospitals.

The first act in their comedy of errors was to suggest that the first people to get the vaccine should not be the people over 70 who are dying, but the people who have the darkest skin. Because social justice.

Imagine the vaccination center. Would they have a light meter to measure a person’s pigmentation, or would they just take the person’s word for it? What if they were white, color-wise, but identified as very black, at least on that day?

Ironically, or perhaps intentionally, but probably just carelessly, the effect of this scheme would be more deaths among both older whites and older blacks because the vaccine supplies would be used instead on not-at-risk younger blacks.

But no matter. The point was not to reduce white deaths or even black deaths. It was to feel very, very woke. After a suitable outcry from doctors – the kind with patients, not the kind jockeying for government grants – the government quietly backed off that racist plan.

The FDA finally approved the vaccine in mid-December. That was weeks after Great Britain already had. In the interim, another ten thousand died. The government boasted that we’d get 20 million doses administered by the end of the year. As it turned out, they administered only about 10% of that.

Happy New Year!

What happened? Intra-governmental squabbling between the bureaucratic Center for Disease Control and military brass heading up Operation Warp Speed (why military brass for that task?) consumed months. Eventually, they decided that the vaccinations should proceed in phases.

Fine. But they decided that we cannot go onto a new phase until the prior phase is finished. They never specified what “finished” means. Does it mean 100.00% of the people in the prior phase have been injected? What if less than 100.00% of those people actually want to be injected? Is 90% enough? Or 70%?

They never said. Meanwhile, millions of vaccine does were, and are, sitting in freezers while people continue dying at the rate of about 4,000 a day.

The vaccines are administered in two shots about three weeks apart. The government decided they couldn’t proceed to a new phase until they had in-hand enough of the vaccine to administer the second shot to people who’d gotten the first shot in the prior phase.

But the pharmaceutical companies had already told the government that their manufacturing capabilities are sufficient to manufacture those second shots on-the-fly. The government didn’t need to keep the second shots on ice. But the government did anyway, and still more people died.

Moreover, the data indicates that just a first shot is highly efficacious, so if somehow a person doesn’t get his second shot he’s very likely protected anyway. No matter, the government insisted on reserving a second shot for a person who’d taken the first shot rather than administering it as the first shot to another patient. Meanwhile, thousands more died.

Finally, the government relented and decided to administer that shot to new patients rather than reserving it to be the second shot for earlier patients.

Now we’re assured that the vaccination program is “on track” but we’re not given any metrics as to how it’s really going in comparison to the plan (assuming there really is a plan this time). In reality, over half the New York allotment of vaccine is still on ice.

This Keystone Kops routine has literally cost tens of thousands or even hundreds of thousands of lives. More Americans have now died of COVID than American soldiers died in WWII. But the government types don’t care because as “essential workers” they personally have gotten the vaccine.

Call me cynical, but are these lazy, selfish and inept government types the people we want running the health care system? Or anything else?

Unfriend the social media monsters for two reasons – them and us

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As for them:

Twitter and Facebook candidly play political favorites. They censor ideas and content on the right while permitting countervailing ideas and thought on the left

Events of last week compared to events of last summer drive this home. Social media has been clamping down on complaints about a stolen election, to the point now that Facebook says it will censor all references to “Stop the Steal.”

Meanwhile, Twitter has altogether banned the President of the United States from its platform.  Their justification for this is that his tweets threaten our country.

In contrast, neither Twitter nor Facebook banned Antifa or Black Lives Matter last summer when they were actively advocating the overthrow of the government. They chanted “No USA at all” and “Burn it Down” as they attempted to do precisely that. They failed, so far, but they did kill and maim a number of people and destroy billions of dollars in property.

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Aspen Journalism uses riots for self-congratulatory money solicitations

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Last summer, criminal mobs stormed federal buildings in an attempt to intimidate our elected officials and overturn our democratic republic. “Burn it down” and “No USA at all” were their frequent chants. Some demagogic politicians egged them on. People died.

Fast forward to last week. Another criminal mob stormed another federal building in another attempt to intimidate our elected officials and overturn our democratic republic.  “Stop the steal” was their frequent chant. Some demagogic politicians egged them on. People died.

The media accurately reported last week’s riot as a riot, but they reported last summer’s riots as “mostly peaceful protests.” The reason for the disparate reporting is of course that the media sympathized with last summer’s criminal mob but not with last week’s criminal mob.

Never willing to let a crisis go to waste, an outfit here in Aspen called Aspen Journalism promptly sent out an email yesterday congratulating themselves for their “truth telling and the free exchange of ideas.” They went on to portray themselves as victims of the DC riot 2,000 miles away: “As journalists we were alarmed by the violence and menacing rhetoric directed at the media.”

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Go away mad or go away sane, Mr. President, but do go away

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A month and a half ago, the GOP had a lock on keeping the Senate. Polls suggested Dem wins in places like Maine and Iowa but, when the votes were ultimately counted, GOP Senators Susan Collins and Jodi Ernst won handily.

In Georgia, the two GOP incumbents did well, but didn’t quite exceed 50% in a multicandidate race. Under Georgia law, that meant a runoff was necessary between them and their Democrat challengers.

The GOP – and the oddsmakers and pollsters – thought the GOP incumbents would win easily. Georgia hasn’t elected a Dem senator in the last generation. Moreover, both Dem candidates were fairly weak. One was tied to China and the other was a Reverend Wright wannabe, Fidel Castro sympathizer and wife abuser. 

But the Dems won today. The Senate goes to the Dems along with the House of Representatives and the Presidency. So what happened in the two month interval between the time it seemed the GOP had a lock on the Georgia runoffs and the runoffs themselves?

Trump happened, that’s what.

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Bitchin’ on Facebook is not “fighting for the cause”

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I’d love to see President Trump somehow get a second term. He’s done a lot of good, I voted for him twice, I actively campaigned for him and I predicted he’d win.

But I see now – in fact, I’ve seen for over a month – that due to a combination of bad luck on COVID, bad campaigning, bad personality and bad fraud, he won’t serve a second term after all.

I’m disappointed, but that doesn’t make me a traitor. I have not turned against Trump, but simply recognized that he has lost.

Manifesting my disappointment through denial and fantasy will not help. Reality cares nothing about my feelings of disappointment. What reality cares about are my real actions to obtain a different outcome in the future, not my fervent wishes for a different outcome in the past.

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Is that all ya got, 2020?

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Pfizer has sold $25 billion worth of Viagra and now they’ve raised the bar even higher. To keep their Viagra customers happy, healthy and horny, they invented a vaccine against COVID.

The FDA approved the vaccine for emergency use this month, years after approving Viagra for “emergency” use (isn’t all use of Viagra an emergency?). Viagra will of course retain its preeminence in the company, and so the vaccine will likely become known as “Pfizer’s Other Drug.”

Some say this medicine comes too soon, that it needs more testing, more time to get acquainted, more foreplay, more cuddling. I say baloney. Viagra comes not a moment too soon. Same with Pfizer’s Other Drug. If only they had come at the same time.

It was indeed a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am kind of year. It’s with proper social distancing, mind you, which can cramp one’s style among other things and attenuate both the whams and the bams. But in sex, Americans and all other people are resourceful.

Sadly, however, there appears not to be the pregnancy surge we often see after a city blackout. Although sperm are ingenious in navigating their way through the kind of person who identifies as a woman because she is one, they cannot navigate across a room or through a Zoom teleconference lens.

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Might we have a Republican president — in 2023?

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Yes, and that’s 2023, not 2024. Here’s how.

It all starts with Joe Biden’s truculently delinquent and pathological son, Hunter. You know, the guy who was and apparently still is a cocaine addict and was drummed out of the Navy. The deadbeat father who denied paternity and avoided support obligations to the mother whom he met at a strip joint.

But those are the least of his troubles. Hunter’s “business” is to monetize his dad’s political position. He did so in the Ukraine where Hunter was paid millions by an oil and gas company, though he probably doesn’t even pump his own gas. The payors of these millions thanked him for introductions to dad.

The Bidens admit that the son’s payments from the Ukraine were because he was Joe’s son – they couldn’t possibly deny that – but contend that the payments did not affect U.S. policy toward the Ukraine. In other words, they say they accepted the payola but it’s OK because they cheated the Ukrainians out of getting anything for it.

It’s a little like Hillary’s pay-to-play speech schemes. She demanded and received $250,000 payments for one-hour speeches from connected people who wanted political favors, but denies that she ever gave them the favors they paid for.

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Having lost their boogeyman, the Dems will lose their evil radicalism

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I voted twice for President Trump. But he has indisputably been a polarizing figure. He doesn’t seem to mind; he basks in his opponents’ hatred.

The Democrats are more than happy to oblige him. The last Republican they hated with this fervor and fever was Abraham Lincoln.

At least in the case of Lincoln, the Dem hatred was on the basis of policy, not personality. The Dems hated Lincoln for his policy against slavery. (An aside: many millennials think Lincoln was a Dem and the southern slave owners were Republicans. It’s possible they are taught that.)

In the case of Trump, the Dems originally hated him not for his policies but for his existence. They hated him because he denied the presidency to their anointed one, Hillary Clinton.

That hatred grew, as hatred does. The Dems went from a party a decade ago that preached love and compassion – though their talk was always better than their walk in that regard – to one that openly hates people who disagree with them. They cancel, censor, shout down and name-call. And they seem to delight in doing so.

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“Experts” want to kill placebo-takers in order to gather more data

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I’m a volunteer in the clinical trials for the Pfizer vaccine. I knew there was some risk in volunteering to take an unproven medicine. But I hoped that my participation might help me do well against the virus, and might also help me do good for humanity. My efforts to do well and do good have worked out fine, until now.

Understand that these studies are conducted with two distinct groups. One group gets the vaccine. The other group gets a placebo. The placebo is not medicine. It’s a simple saline shot that does nothing at all.

The reason for these two groups is to establish a placebo-taking “control group” against which both the efficacy and side effects of the vaccine can be measured in the vaccine-taking group. The study is “blinded,” meaning that the patients themselves don’t know whether they got the vaccine or the placebo. That’s to avoid tainting the results with “placebo effect” and “reverse placebo effect” symptoms.

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