Wringing Out the Old Year

It’s the time of year when we ring in the New Year, wring out the old one and wipe up the dirty squeezings with a newspaper column.

Fit for what?

Aspen Skiing Co. conducted employee “fitness tests.” Employees are required to do (drum roll) 15 pushups. Resting between each pushup is allowed, and knees (but not the belly) can be on the floor.

Most employees passed. A spokeswoman announced, “I have definitely noticed the apprehension level dropping.”

Whew, what a relief. Now everyone hydrate! But some failed. That’s OK, it turns out. The “penalty” for failure is they get what Skico calls “an accommodation.”

It’s like modern schools, you see. The test is so easy that everyone passes, including the ones who somehow manage to fail.

The bosses of the bus go cut, cut, cut

Citing money shortages, the bus bosses Continue reading

Get a Life!

Antarctica is the latest adventure-travel hotspot, says a brochure in the mail.

You put on skis and walk 700 miles up, down and across the frozen wasteland, dragging a 200-pound sled. You’d better like frozen food.

You do this for 60 days. The price is $65,000, or about $1,100 a day.

Who would want to do that?

Here’s who: Some moneyed people have it all, except one thing. The one thing missing from their lives, they think, is authenticity. Stated another way, they think their lives are great, but not “real.”

Aspen, I’m talking to you.

These people were taught Continue reading