Man Up and Marry Her

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Newman

“If you’re playing a poker game and you look around the table and can’t tell who the sucker is, it’s you.” — Paul Newman

“Basically married” is how a friend described her relationship with her live-in boyfriend on Valentine’s Day a few years ago. The combined age of this “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” was over 80. She’d always played her “basically married” card in a casual and well-practiced sort of way.

But it was a bluff. Like most women (no, not all), she wanted to have a family. She could half-convince her friends that she was “basically married,” but she could not convince even herself that she was basically a mother.

The game was getting old, and so was she. Biological clocks don’t bluff, and hers told her it was almost too late for a winning hand.

She’s had lots of company. Continue reading

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He’s No Worse than Alcohol

untitledLast week a biochemist announced that marijuana “is no worse than alcohol.”

OK, he’s not exactly a biochemist, but he does have some expertise on the subject. As a teenager in an exclusive private school in Hawaii, he was a member of a “club” called the Choom Gang. They had a narrow charter: It was to get high smoking marijuana every day. “Barry,” as he was then called, excelled.

President Barack Obama, as he is now called, still publicly jokes and brags about his teenage marijuana habit. But the president of the United States of America promises that he does “not encourage” his two teenage daughters who live with him in the White House to do the same.

I’m glad.

The president himself still smokes, but now his smoke of choice is Marlboros. He says he “bums” them off White House staffers who don’t smoke but carry cigarettes for the president to “bum.” And he promises that he doesn’t “bum” them in front of his children because that (the smoking, not the “bumming”) would set a “bad example,” he said.

As for marijuana, he said the “main problem” is that too many poor people and too few rich people get arrested for it.

These pronouncements came in the same interview where he said that if he had an adult son, he “would not let” him play professional football because it’s too dangerous.

Squint through this haze, if you can, and see Continue reading