“If you’re playing a poker game and you look around the table and can’t tell who the sucker is, it’s you.” — Paul Newman

“Basically married” is how a friend described her relationship with her live-in boyfriend on Valentine’s Day a few years ago. The combined age of this “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” was over 80. She’d always played her “basically married” card in a casual and well-practiced sort of way.

But it was a bluff. Like most women (no, not all), she wanted to have a family. She could half-convince her friends that she was “basically married,” but she could not convince even herself that she was basically a mother.

The game was getting old, and so was she. Biological clocks don’t bluff, and hers told her it was almost too late for a winning hand.

She’s had lots of company. Continue reading →