If You Can’t Stand the Heat, then go Back to the Kitchen


A woman made history by being the first female to lose a presidential election.

Unconfirmed leaks reveal that her reaction to that honor was to drink alcohol, throw things, sob for hours, drink more alcohol and make herself so generally unpresentable that her aides had to postpone her concession speech until the following morning.

Apparently no one told her that you break the glass ceiling by climbing up there and pushing through, not by getting drunk and angry, sobbing on the floor and throwing lamps at it.

Apart from that particular woman, however, most women have come a long way since the days when they made a living in the kitchen catering to men.

Women are Continue reading

Bob Dylan to the Establishment: “It ain’t me babe”


The establishment got spanked. Here’s the story:

Some old geezers in Scandinavia are very proud of some prizes they give. They call them “Nobel Prizes.”

The prize comes in several flavors. The “Peace Prize,” for example, is awarded by Norwegian politicians. They give it to other politicians they like.

One year they gave it to a guy who said he invented the internet, then lost an election for United States president, then refused to accept the election results, then threw the country into chaos for a month, then lost in the courts and then got rich inventing global warming.

Another year they gave it to an American president who succeeded in getting elected and nothing else (I suppose they had to give him one after giving one to the earlier guy for failing to get elected) and who later succeeded in escalating but not winning a war in Afghanistan, which is now the longest-running war in American history.

One year they gave their Peace Prize to a Palestinian terrorist.

There’s also a Nobel Prize for “literature” for the person they deem the planet’s best writer. This one is given by an obscure club of 18 lousy writers in Sweden. They call themselves the Swedish Academy. Everyone else calls them “Who?”

Their motto sounds like an advertisement for a suburban dinner theater: “Talent and Taste.”

This year, they gave their Nobel Prize for literature to Continue reading