In his quest for the Presidency, Gavin Newsom has a few things to overcome.

First, he’s burdened with all that great hair.

Second, he’s the Governor of the State of California, which used to be a great-state-to-go-to, but is now a-great-state-to-be-from.

Third, he’s a victim of white privilege. I know, I know, white privilege is a privilege, not a liability. The problem, however, is that in order to run for President, he first has to win the Democrat nomination (notwithstanding the Joe Biden 2024 rule). Many of the people who vote in Democrat primaries see whiteness as a liability.

There’s not much he can do now about the first two problems, but he’s keenly focused on the third. He gave an interview to a Black interviewer in front of a Black audience the other day. He wanted to bond with the Black audience:

“I’m not trying to impress you. I’m just trying to impress upon you [that] I’m like you. I’m no better than you. You know, I’m a 960 SAT guy. And you know, I’m not trying to offend anyone, you know, trying to act all there if you got 940, but literally, a 960 SAT guy. You’ve never seen me read a speech because I cannot read a speech. Maybe the wrong business to be in.”

I have two questions. One, do we really want a President who scored below average on the SAT? It’s fine to have a President with a common touch – Reagan, Ford and Truman come to mind, and even Clinton depending on how you define “common touch” – but they were all pretty smart.

For me, the answer is no.

Two, what makes Newson think that he can bond with his Black audience by bragging about his lousy SAT score? The answer to that question is apparently that he thinks his audience have lousy SAT scores, and so they want a President with a similarly lousy SAT score.

I think that sells his audience short. Contrary to Newsom’s belief, Blacks do not all have lousy SAT scores. As for the ones who do, they are not likely to want a President with a similarly lousy SAT score.

I’m lousy at driving an 18-wheeler, but that doesn’t mean I want the world’s 18-wheeler drivers to be similarly lousy.

Newsom later explained that he’s not legitimately a 960 SAT scorer. He scored 960 only because he’s dyslexic. (When the press politely asked his office whether there was any historical evidence of his alleged disability, they answered “Fuck off.”)

Well, Governor, then what’s your point in bringing up your lousy SAT score? On the one hand, you offer it as proof of your common touch, and on the other hand you quickly claim that it’s not really proof of your common touch at all. Rather, it’s proof of your disability.

OK, my sympathies about your disability, which you assure us is not evidence of your stupidity even though you offered it as such to Black people because you thought they would see it as such and thereby identify with it and – of course, it all comes down to this eventually – thereby vote for you.

But now I have yet another question. I sympathize with persons having disabilities, including dyslexia. But do we want a dyslexic President who by his own admission has trouble reading and cannot read a speech? Reading memos and giving speeches are part of the job, you know.

And if we do, do we want one that also thinks Black people are stupid and that he can persuade them to vote for him by dishonestly passing off his dyslexia as comparable stupidity?