God created the world in six days, and rested on the seventh. The seventh was Sunday, or maybe it was Saturday. Or Friday. Anyway, we’re supposed to rest that day, whenever it is.

Just to be careful, I rest seven days a week.

The current President when he’s not hosting the UFC (that’s “Ultimate Fighting Championship” for those of you not in the know) at the White House (whatever happened to good clean make-believe fun like the World Wrestling Federation?) is hosting the in-laws. But they can’t come over on Saturday because it’s a Shabat, or maybe he’s hosting the in-laws on a Sunday but that won’t work either because it’s a Sabbath, or maybe it’s a Friday but that won’t work because that’s Jummah.

Anyway, the President is trying, between social media posts and contradictory Abrahamic beliefs about the date of their respective Shabbat/Sabbath/Jummah, to be a good host – even a Heavenly one – to his alleged guests if only they can find a time to get together, what with the Master of the Universe creating the universe, and the UFC and all.

It’s not easy. The whole shebang has become a test of faith.

To the Believers, the ultimate proof of God is that it’s so unlikely. Would God manifest in a tacky real estate developer from Queens?

Of course He would. It’s as likely as God manifesting in a poor carpenter from Nazareth.

Ah, but just because something is unlikely does not make it true.

There’s a natural tendency to find God in our savior. It’s easier than believing that God is our savior. Believe me, I’ve been there.

But I promise you that Donald Trump won’t lead you to The Promised Land. God is within you, and there are no shortcuts.