When I call an investment firm or a doctor’s office to speak with a person, it’s bad enough that I have to listen to a voice mail that gives me six options, none of which includes speaking with a person.

But there’s something else that bugs me. It’s “Press 2 for Spanish.” That part of the recording is often in Spanish.

That Spanish part is usually preceded by “Press 1 for English.”

But wait a minute. I already have the recording in English. Now I have to press 1 for some more?

As for option to converse in Spanish with the recording, I have never felt the need for that, and I doubt I ever will. I’m fed up with being given this option. Being fed up is all the worse when I have to listen to the six options, none of which includes speaking with a person. Who speaks English.

 In my extensive travels in Spain and my limited travels in Latin America, I’ve noticed that they don’t return the favor. I’ve never heard a recording in Spain say, “Press 2 for English.” (Or Arabic, even in view of Spain”s recent influx of Moroccans.)

Ah, you say, but what about the people in America who speak only Spanish?

I say, to hell with them. Or more specifically, to home with them.

I dare say that practically everyone legally in America speaks English. The ones who speak only Spanish are invariably here illegally.

The banks and doctors’ offices should not be facilitating the presence of illegals in America. Enough already.