Category Archives: Uncategorized

What happened to male cheerleaders? And female ones?

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Back in my day, cheerleaders were hot and gorgeous, at least at the University of Colorado/Boulder where I watched them. They were the best-looking girls on campus, and that was saying a lot at the time in Boulder.

After I graduated and left Boulder, they were evidently unable to attract the same quality without me. In fact, they resorted to male cheerleaders.

There were sniggers that the male cheerleaders were probably a bit light-footed, if you know what I mean. That was before light-footedness, if you know what I mean, became the Next Big Thing.

But male cheerleaders mostly faded away over the years. We see few male cheerleaders now.

At that pseudo-scientific source called Wikipedia, they explain that male cheerleaders today are mostly confined to “stunts” with the female ones. By “stunts,” they’re referring to something beyond being a male cheerleader. They’re referring to throwing the females into the air, catching them, etc.

So, what happened to the male cheerleaders? Why did they go away? There are two possibilities.

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Joe can’t BS his way to a second term

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Joe Biden has always been considered not very bright and not very honest. Beyond that, he’s thin-skinned and hot-tempered according to White House staff. His ability to remember and his ability to think – never very good – are worsening. He’s spent 40% of his time in the White House not in the White House, but on vacation at the beach in Delaware.

He has a creepy thing for other people’s young daughters which an irate dad might someday react to in a way Joe doesn’t anticipate.   

As for his casual relationship with facts, he certainly lies on occasion, as when it comes to his family influence-peddling business, for example.

But his real forte is simple BS’ing.

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Deion Sanders and Taylor Swift get married, Nikola Jokic is bridesmaid

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Exclusive to The Aspen Beat:

Deion and Taylor got married. It was a low-key affair, by their standards. A few million of their closest friends.

Taylor’s bridesmaid was the indefatigable, impermeable, invaluable, impressive, Nikola Jokic, the best thing to come out of Serbia since that other Nikola whose name was unfortunately appropriated a century later for a vehicle that is self-driving and self-incinerating.  

After the wedding, the newlyweds rode off into the sunset in, you guessed it, a Tesla. They got as far as Ventura County before the juice gave out and the car caught fire.

OK, I made all that up. But I had you going, didn’t I? You clicked into this, and that’s the whole point of the carnival barker schtick that used to be called “journalism.”

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Hmm, a Christian conversion sans Christ or Jesus

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The news today is that a prominent and thoughtful Somalian-Dutch-American who left her Muslim faith in favor of atheism some years ago, has now left her atheist faith in favor of Christianity.

Welcome to my church, Ayaan Hirsi Ali. You can sit anywhere you’d like.

Ayaan published an essay explaining the reasons for her conversion. Her essay describes no epiphany, no encounter on a road to Damascus or anywhere else. Strikingly, neither “Christ” nor “Jesus” appear anywhere in her essay.

Instead, she explained that Christianity (and by implication the larger Judeo-Christian culture) is the only framework capable of building civilization as we know it, and protecting it against human depravity. It is our last – and really only – tool.

It’s our only defense against power-driven totalitarianism that inevitable degrades into violence, the kind we saw in the mass murder of 9/11 and again in the sadistic atrocities of 10/7.

Christianity is on the side of good. Ayaan wants to stand shoulder to shoulder with us, for good.

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Antisemitism so atrocious that even the Jews object

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The news these post-pogrom days is filled with stories of Jews objecting to actions committed in the name of leftism.

The left’s darling of the Mideast – Hamas – ransacked towns in the Jewish homeland established by the United Nations 75 years ago, in a display of rape and pillaging unmatched since the Dark Ages.

Maniacal, drug-infused, Jew-hating, Hitlerian crazies raped, beheaded, murdered and burned alive Jewish civilians, took others hostage for display, torture and execution, and filmed their carnage to proudly post on the internet. At least Genghis Khan didn’t post on the internet. 

Conservatives have universally decried the barbarous spectacle.

The left, however, is not so sure. Many on the left have justified and even cheered it. For example, The Squad promoted Hamas propaganda that a Palestinian hospital was bombed by Israel, even after video indisputably showed it was bombed by an errant missile headed not from Israel but toward it.

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This Halloween, ask yourself “What am I celebrating?”

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It’s all fun and games till they start beheading babies

I liked Halloween as a boy because, even then, I was a cheapskate. I loved getting candy, and I loved even more getting it for free.

When I was about 11, my three siblings came down with the flu. Oddly, I didn’t. I went out trick-or-treating alone till about 10:30, way past my bedtime, while my sister and brothers languished at home praying to the porcelain god.

I took in quite a haul. Two full bags. Probably today’s equivalent of a couple hundred dollars’ worth of candy. 

I was afraid that night. Not of goblins or ghosts. No, I was afraid that my sibs would steal some of my hard-earned free candy. I ate as much as I possibly could, and then some more, but there was still an overflowing bag of the sugary crap. To guard it from my ill siblings, I put it right next to my bed.

That night, the flu, the candy, and the fates, caught up with me. I turned on my side and projectile-puked right off the bed into – you already guessed it – the candy bag.

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I’m bored with Taylor Swift

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Not that there was ever much between us, other than distance. But she seems like an Aspen sort of gal, and I wouldn’t hold that against her.

She’s evidently a singer. She might even write some of her own stuff. So we have something in common. I too am a singer, and I too write some of my own stuff. There’s:

The Ants are my friends, they’re blowin’ in the wind.

And:

Since you left me, you’ve seen me with some other girls, lookin’ like I’m having fun;

But though they might be cute, they’re just prostitutes…

Then there’s:

This is the dawning of the Age of Asparagus

And, of course, the one I made famous one intoxicating and intoxicated Karaoke night:

… there’s a bathroom on the right…

Back to Taylor. She’s got talent. She’s certainly pretty rich and even kinda pretty. I give her a B+ in music and an A+ in business.

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Downtown Denver has become a pus-filled sore in an overflowing post-apocalyptic outhouse

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Denver was my home for most of my adult life while I made a career in law. It wasn’t exactly Paris, but even Paris isn’t exactly Paris anymore. Denver was at least pleasant, clean and fairly safe.

Cheapskate that I am, I made a practice of parking about eight blocks away from my downtown office, in the direction of the “bad” part of town. (The parking rate was 10 cents a day – really!) I never had any problems.

As many of you know, I then retired and moved to Aspen. About six years ago, I bought a second home in Denver, in a downtown high-rise condo. I get around.

But now I’m done with my downtown Denver condo. What’s happened to downtown Denver in just the last three years is disgraceful and disgusting.

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The Western Wall

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Note: I published this piece nine years ago when I was treking in Israel for a while. The unspeakable horror of last weekend prompts me to publish it again, my own small tribute to my Israeli and other Jewish friends.

Muslims have the Taj Mahal and Mecca. Catholics have St. Peter’s Basilical and the Vatican.

Jews have a wall.

The Western Wall is a stack of massive stone blocks a few dozen feet high and a couple of hundred feet long. It’s all that’s left of Jerusalem’s second Jewish temple, a structure that astonished even the Romans. The Romans destroyed it to punish the Jews for their Great Revolt in 70 A.D.

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Did the Biden administration withhold intel from Israel?

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Palestinian terrorists (no, that’s not necessarily redundant) in Gaza launched a brutal terrorist attack on Israel yesterday. They slaughtered at least 800 Israelis, many of them unarmed women and children. Some were taken hostage back to Gaza where they were paraded through the streets and beaten.

It was a massive and highly coordinated attack with incursions by land, air and sea. From a thousand miles away, Iran was likely funding and coordinating it. There had to be a lot of cyber chatter preceding the attack.

Yet Israel was apparently caught by complete surprise.

The question being rightly asked is, how could Israel’s intel operations – one of the most sophisticated in the world – have been caught so off-guard?

The answer may be in Washington. The Biden administration has never gotten along with the Israeli government, nor did the Obama administration where Biden ws Vice President. Biden and Obama have both seemed determined to let Iran – a terrorist state that has vowed to destroy Israel – get a nuclear bomb, and experts think that at any given moment they could have one in a matter of months. Biden just gave Iran six billion dollars in exchange for American hostages that Iran had taken.

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