Yogi Berra observed that predictions are tough, especially about the future. But tough as they are, readers inform me that predictions about the future would be more useful to them than my usual predictions about the past. So here goes.
President Trump will win reelection easily on the strength of the best economy in the lifetime of most voters despite the dreams of compassionate Democrats for a bone-crushing, job-losing, starvation-inducing depression.
Also helping Trump will be the weakness of a slew and stew of old, uninspiring, grouchy, white male Dem and dim candidates (plus one womyn who used to be Native American).
Donations to the charitable (cough … cough) Clinton Foundation will, um, continue to decline. Frustrated by such little bribe for their buck, past donors may ask for their money back.
Instead of Hillary, the Dems will nominate Biden. I’m talking about Joe. Not his son Hunter, the brilliant international oil and gas and pharmaceutical playboy tycoon.
Aware that he’s uncontrollably and unconcealably white, Joe will choose a black woman running mate. Joe being Joe, he’ll promptly plagiarize his description of Barack Obama in touting her as “articulate and bright and clean.”
Overpaid Hollywood types and anthem kneelers will help Trump by promising to leave the country if he wins. As usual, they’ll renege.
The Dems will then present Act II of their petulant play against Trump called “Impeachment.” The theater will be mostly empty again and Trump’s approval ratings will go up again.
Britain will leave the continent of which it was never really a part. In delicious irony, an official language for European Union officials will continue to be English – a language that is the native tongue of none of the remaining members – and Britain will prosper.
At the end of 2020, we will still be 12 years away from the end of the world due to global warming/climate change/climate crisis/climate whatever. But the end of the world due to gaseous moral grandstanding on the subject will be imminent.
Meanwhile in the real(ish) world closer to home, skiing in Aspen will be great.
Republican Senator Cory Gardner of Colorado will be defeated by a wave of immigrants. Not illegal but hard-working ones. No, he’ll be defeated by legal but slovenly Californicators fleeing the whacky politics there in order to impose those same whacky politics here.
In Congress, the Dems will lose a few seats in the children’s house – the romper room – but, fittingly, not enough to lose a majority. The Republicans will keep the grownup house and its prerogative to confirm federal judge nominees.
Which they will do. And do. And do. By 2024, Trump will have filled about half the federal judiciary. In total, about two-thirds of the federal judiciary will be Republican appointees, including two-thirds of the Supreme Court.
Speaking of which, I’m glad to say that dedicated Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg – bless her liberal heart – will live to see Trump’s second inauguration.
Trump will Tweet (and Tweet and Tweet) that he’s choosing Nikki Haley to be his 2020 running mate.
Dems will then declare Haley a greedy misogynist racist. With that help, she’ll be elected not only vice president in 2020 but president in 2024. At which time the end of the world due to global warming/climate change/climate crisis/climate whatever will still be 12 years away.
Against President Haley, the Dems will present Act III of “Impeachment” for abusing her power by making herself look good by doing things that are good for the country. When she denies abusing her power, they’ll add a charge for obstruction of justice. The theater will be empty.
The post-millennial generation will reject their elders. They will embrace merit, achievement, work, religion and family while rejecting wokeness, identity politics, dope, laziness, political correctness and California.
Dems will declare them greedy misogynist racists. Being called those names will fail to win them over to the Democratic Party.
Readers who don’t like my stuff but are required to read it, of whom there seem to be many, will try to impeach me for power abuse and, failing in that since I have none, for self-abuse.
The Dems’ advertising division, CNN, whose ratings are currently less than half those of Fox and even trail those of Nickelodeon (that’s a fact) will slash its already dwindling news operations in favor of shriller but cheaper talking heads.
Some will not be real people, but computer-generated images constructed by CNN’s Dem friends in Hollywood and programed to say what CNN tells them to – mostly the words “greedy,” “misogynist” and “racist.”
Oh, the stock market? Ongoing easy money from central bankers, trade agreements with China, Mexico, Canada and Britain, the absence of shooting wars and a worldwide business-friendly, conservative-trending political environment, will propel your 401K up another 10%.
The talking heads at CNN will call it “the Obama economic miracle.” Everyone else will guffaw, and the Dems will call them greedy misogynist racists.
In short, it will be a happy new year. But be careful not to say so, else you might be impeached.
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