Was she a mask Nazi, or a masked Nazi? She was both. Here’s the story.
I was hiking alone in the Colorado Rockies. I encountered a woman rounding a bend in the trail who muttered something to me as we passed one another. I said, “Excuse me?”
She unloaded on me with a tirade of unprintable curses and uncompromising demands that I wear a mask, like hers. So worked up was she that the microdroplets expectorated straight through her mask at approximately 3,400 mph.
Colorado still does not require masks for solitary activities like showering (I sincerely hope not to encounter her there) and hiking alone in the woods. Apparently, she personally has a different rule and she insists that everyone else follow it.
Her blitzkrieg shocked and awed me but I had the presence of mind – and I can say without undue boast, the considerable courage – to suggest that if she didn’t want to encounter perfectly legal unmasked people hiking alone in the woods then maybe she should not hike on a popular trail. After all, there are thousands of Colorado trails where you won’t see a person for days.
To that, she shouted “moron.”
I found that reasoning unpersuasive in substance, style and volume. Notwithstanding, I replied that she seemed like a very classy person. I think my sarcasm was perceptible, even to her. I like to think I defeated her but it was not my finest hour.
We then went our separate ways. I doubt we’ll exchange Christmas cards. What about me attracts such people? I wasn’t even wearing my MAGA hat.
The COVID experts disagree on mask-wearing, as they disagree on so many other things. Initially, the Surgeon General told us not to wear masks because they did more harm than good.
As it turned out, he was lying, or at least he intended to be lying. Now he says we should wear masks after all.
The reason the Surgeon General intended to lie initially was because he wanted to save the masks for health care workers. He could have just told us, “Masks are good. But, hey, don’t go out and hoard them the way you did toilet paper. Because health care workers need some.”
Instead he lied. Because that’s what government does when it can.
Here’s where it gets complicated. Although the Surgeon General intended to lie, maybe he accidentally didn’t. Other experts continue to say we should not wear masks.
You ask, who?
You ask, what’s WHO?
Much as I’m tempted to answer, “WHO’s on first base,” the real answer is WHO is the World Health Organization. WHO is who helped the Chinese conceal and nurture the virus into a pandemic monster.
WHO is headed by an Ethiopian doctor. Because that’s where they have the best doctors, said nobody ever.
But this Ethiopian “doctor” (he actually has a Ph.D. not a M.D.) is in pretty good company this time. An article last week in the New England Journal of Medicine, which gets things right more often than not, said masks are unnecessary outside a clinical setting.
How many times will the COVID experts be inconsistent, lying or wrong, or otherwise inexpert, before we stop calling them experts?
COVID masks are interesting from a societal and psychological perspective. They’re of course highly visible and obtrusive but that’s a feature, not a flaw. They may not prevent the transmission of disease but, more importantly, they serve to communicate to the world, loudly and without nuance, that the wearer is a good person.
In other words, masks are the latest in virtue signaling. If I ever see a middle-aged lady wearing a mask while driving a Toyota Prius hybrid with a C-O-E-X-I-S-T bumper sticker, I’ll hurl.
Alas, I didn’t have all this cleverness on hand or on the tip of my unmasked tongue on the trail the other day when I had my close encounter of the turd kind with the mask(ed) Nazi.
Next time I see her, I’ll be ready. But I suppose by now she and her ilk are in Poland, where any survivors of their invasion will be sent to concentration camps as slave labor to make masks. While wearing, of course, masks.