The virus apparently produces insanity, even in people who don’t catch it.
Here in Aspen, iron-fisted totalitarians that we used to call “petty government bureaucrats” sometimes but not always post signs commanding us to keep six feet apart when hiking through the forest.
On the other hand, patrons in Aspen restaurants are now permitted to eat without masks, even when seated together, which is good because it’s been hard to squeeze food through those little pores in the mask. On the other, other hand, a restaurant was cited for permitting patrons to walk to their table without a mask.
There are other arbitrary exceptions to the mask rules. Consider a trustafarian Aspen city council boy named Skippy (yes, that’s his real name). For a guy who’s never had a real job, Skippy is very busy. He’s organizing the protest thing in Aspen.
Skippy and his gentrified protesters of pallor don’t need to wear masks because even though they’ve never been to the wrong side of the tracks they’re on the right side of history.
What they’re protesting is white people killing black people. I don’t like people killing people, so that seems like a worthwhile protest.
But they aren’t protesting black people killing white people, which happens twice as often even though blacks are only 13% of the population. In fact, of all the mixed-race murders (black killing white, Hispanic killing black, white killing Hispanic and so on) the rarest category by far is white people killing black people.
And they aren’t protesting the non-mixed-race murders of blacks killing blacks, which happens 10-times more often than whites killing blacks. Black lives seem not to matter to these protesters if those black lives are ended by another black.
By the way, if you’re what used to be called a “journalist” reporting these facts in the now-extinct profession of “journalism,” you quickly wind up what used to be called an “ex-journalist.” You get cancelled.
Some of these protests against violence are violent. In Seattle, people calling themselves anti-fascists stormed a police station and took over a neighborhood. They’re extorting money from small local businesses in exchange for “protecting” them.
They expel the people they don’t like from their little utopia. Now they’re threatening to form their own nation in downtown Seattle comprised of only people they like. They call it Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone, or CHAZ (how hip is that?).
This bit of socialist paradise is ruled by a homophobic criminal warlord who prances around with an AK-47.
The Seattle police chief wants to expel these criminals and return the neighborhood to the residents. For that, Seattle libs want to cancel her. In their eyes, the fact that she is a black and a woman is not enough; if she opposes people who trespass, loot, riot and steal in the name of a protest, then she’s a racist.
The Seattle mayor is more woke than the police chief. Unlike the police chief, the mayor supports the rioters. Because the rioters hate America and she does too.
President Trump sides with the police chief and against the mayor. He opposes these “thugs” as he calls them with little temperance but considerable justification.
The satirical Babylon Bee, now the country’s Newspaper of Record since the New York Times went full Mad Magazine, reported that Trump plans to impose tariffs and travel bans on CHAZ. Because he’s racist.
Barrack Obama is not. So he’s planning to ship pallets of $100 bills of taxpayer money to the new nation in exchange for their vague promise that they might not build nuclear weapons for a little while.
OK, I made that last one up. But you weren’t really sure, were you?
Speaking of police chiefs, they’re all being cancelled along with their subordinates for being racist because they arrest blacks in proportion to the crimes they commit.
We’re not technically abolishing the cops, but just “defunding” them. If they want to continue working for free, fine, but they won’t get any salary, cars, donuts, guns, uniforms, pensions or coffee.
They’ll still get the same amount of respect: None. Zero. Zippo. Nada.
Meanwhile, a mile from my place in Denver a couple walking their dog were asking their dog to do what people ask their dogs to do on a walk.
That ignited somebody in a nearby apartment, who shouted, “Are you gonna train the dog, or just yell at it?” He got his rifle and opened fire. The man survived but the woman died. The shooter is in custody.
My point? We’ve gone off the rails, and it’s not funny anymore.
I can’t prove it, but I think all this is connected to the virus lockdown. Insecurity, anger, hate, jealousy, frustration, fear, boredom, hysteria, incivility and legitimized lying, along with media incompetence, stupidity, bias and sensationalism, have produced a violent and vengeful mob.
If you think a Reign of Terror couldn’t happen in America, bear in mind that France in 1789 was one of the most civilized societies in the history of the world. The ensuing bloodbath engineered by sociopaths who hijacked the French Revolution led to two centuries of European war, starvation, torture and genocide.
As in 1789 in France, well-intentioned people in America are now being used by evil-doers who consciously sow chaos and violence. For the sake of our children and the world, we should stop them.
the Aspen beat 
As in Aspen and Carbondale, the leftist looniess that have declared their “autonomous zone” in Seattle include extreme environmental ideas in their agenda — specifically, the absurd idea of an urban area becoming self-sustaining in food, energy, water, and waste disposal. So, I say, cut off all of these services from outside of the “autonomous zone,” and see what happens.
My only concern about doing this is for tesidents of the “zone” who not only oppose it, but had no chance to vote on it. Talk about voter suppression!
If the city and state governments refuse to exercise their duty to protect these people’s rights, they should at least pay them compensation for their loss of property and costs of escaping and relocating.
Who pays the government? The same people the government is refusing to protect; i.e. the taxpayer. If we really want to clean things up, let abused citizens to sue mayors, governors and administrators, individually, who aren’t doing their job.
Even if the residents of the area don’t support CHAZ, they more than likely voted for the mayor and the governor who are all in for it or impotent to help so my sympathy is somewhat tempered by that. They are getting what they wanted, good and hard…
Right on que the meme of AntiFa recruiting and planning to Break Up the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally and Races this August has started making the rounds. On a non-motorcycle page they were guffawing about likely results of such an endeavor then a guy named Caren gave an exceptionally long paragraph on how to stay safe at a large rally like Sturgis as we reopen. I don’t know what is funnier, Antifa breaking up Sturgis or the vision of all them Bikers with masks on and Caren thinking he’d done a big public service……I’ve ridden to the Rally 7 times, I think I know my crowd.
Caren sounds a lot like a male version of Karen
You continue to inject light and sanity into my lockdown purgatory. Blessings be upon you.
But give Aspen’s Skippy a break — he’s still recovering from having been caught complaining about how there aren’t enough of “the right people” in Aspen. His inner Robespierre was, alas, unmasked.
Indeed. The delicious irony about Skippy’s complaint that Aspen is attracting the “wrong” kind of people (an irony utterly unrecognized by Skippy, of course) is that if he stumbled across himself on one of his trips back from the pot shop, he’d think he’s the wrong kind too.
I was on my bike on Main Street when Skippy and all the protesters passed me in the #BLM Black Lives Matter on Saturday. The protesters were chanting “Defund The Police.” I believe he was the only elected official that day. One Pitkin County BOCC member mentioned in public comments in the regular meeting last Wednesday there were 3 BOCC members at the protest last week.
Great article. The only thing I would add is that when defunding the police, they will no longer not only get any salary, cars, guns, uniforms, pensions or coffee, BUT ALSO DONUTS.
Great satire . A great way to vent and laugh at the “loonie tines” of politics.
I will sign on to follow you.
Take your medicine and stay sane.
Brilliant! Made my day and it’s gotta grind the morons at Aspen’s “great” newspaper that you are allowed to write without their approval… or their banning. Keep up the great work! I remember the good old days of Gay Ski Week. Not a participant but our family enjoyed the fun on both sides. Them daz is gone.
Wouldn’t it be great if Aspen could just accept gays or straights or others without making a patronizing show of it? The left always makes it about themselves and their virtue-signaling.
Glenn, you keep outdoing yourself! We love your columns!
Except that Barack Hussein Obama did send one pallet of $100 bills, totalling, we calculate about, more or less, $500, by midnight airplane to CHAZ/CHOP International Airport and is hitting up Oprah for another $500 to send, and you are right, it is to keep them from making fireworks, or something.
And Aspent Times, you can go to CHAZ/CHOP!
Having left both Aspen and Colorado before this current looniness ensued, one can only wonder when this current giant crackup will end at what the pile of debris will fully look like. At some point it would seem the best recourse will be complete civil disobedience to the governing looney toons will become required to reverse this madness.
When the South seceded from the Union, the Military came in to correct the problem. This is different, how?
How bad is it in Aspen?. I want to come and go fishing and visit a friend. I live in Texas and we are pretty much over it. I don’t wear a mask and eat at restaurants . Being conservative in Aspen usually means you keep it to yourself . Is there any place where right wingers hang out?
Facts are stubborn things, aren’t they? There was a young girl with a BLM sign in downtown Evergreen, and I was dying to educate her with exactly these numbers. Alas, we all know it would be tilting at windmills…
Well, the windmills were delusions: this Evergreen twit is a real foe. Lower your lance and spur your steed.