You heard it here first: “Truth, Justice and Better Living through Chemistry

The words “motherhood” and “mother” are now cancelled. The proper woke term is now “birthing person.” That’s because “mother” means a woman who has birthed a child, and allegedly we now also have men who birth a child.

Never mind that these “men” have no Y chromosome and were born female with female genitalia and female chromosomes. They are now “men” because, well, because they say so. According to their science – which you’d damn well better follow — whatever they say they are, they are. To contend that science says anything different is hateful and unscientific because it hurts their feelings.

Then there’s the flag of the United States of America. This piece of cloth symbolizing a republic, to which we used to pledge our allegiance and for which soldiers died, has been canceled too. Because it’s a symbol of racism.

This flag stuff started a generation ago when hippies who wanted to smoke pot in college rather than be soldiers in Vietnam made a big show out of cutting classes and burning the flag along with their draft cards. But their pyros were nothing compared to their children today who burn not just the flag but police stations and retail stores, after looting them of course. Because wokeness.  

The New York Times – formerly America’s “newspaper of record” – has designed several new flags to replace the old torn and tired one. Such as a rainbow one to symbolize our diversity, a green one to show our enviro-correctness and . . . you get the idea. None of the NYT substitutes symbolizes freedom or liberty, because freedom and liberty are dog whistles for racism and intolerance.

Old Glory is being replaced with New Glory, brought to you and approved by the “newspaper” that “reports” the “news” that America was founded on slavery in 1619 and is still there. Because equity.

Don’t count on Superman saving either motherhood or the flag. DC Comics announced that Superman’s motto, “Truth, Justice and the American Way” is being scrapped. “Truth” stays, because of course “truth” is now whatever the left says it is. Because science. See discussion supra re men who give birth.  “Justice” can stay as well because that will now mean the social kind.

But “the American Way” has gotta go. It’s irredeemable. It cannot mean anything other than racism, Corvettes, Republicans, apple pie, misogyny, homophobia, Trumpism, corndogs, Texas and halitosis.

So “the American Way” is being changed to “a better tomorrow.” We all know, or should, that America’s past is bad. America needs a tomorrow that is better than its bad yesterdays. Who can object to a better tomorrow?

And so “Truth, Justice and a Better Tomorrow” is the new motto of The Man of Steel. Or, since he’s bisexual now too, will it be “The Buns of Steel”? I wonder (not much, mind you) whether “he” even a he. How long before Super “man” gives birth?

Dupont used to have an advertising slogan, “Better Living through Chemistry.” The glue-sniffing, pot-addled, power-drunk, woke-oholic, ballot-harvesting, feelgood-addicted, meth monsters of the left will someday sober up and reactivate whatever neurons have survived the chemical onslaught to which they’ve been subjected, and tinker a bit with Superman’s new slogan. Expect “Truth, Justice and Better Living through Chemistry.”

Today is the last day to vote HERE for “Best Columnist” and “Mr. Aspen” in the annual Best of Aspen competition. You can vote as often as once a day. By way of background (and speaking of bullies) the liberal Aspen Times fired me in 2019 for having incompatible “values.” I got the last laugh the next year when I won “Best Columnist of Aspen” in their own competition. Let’s make it two years in a row and this time let’s add “Mr. Aspen” to the title. It’ll drive the Aspen lefties crazy(er)!

Meanwhile, sign up HERE for a free subscription to TheAspenBeat.

6 thoughts on “You heard it here first: “Truth, Justice and Better Living through Chemistry

  1. Like Batman, at least up through Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight Trilogy, Superman has always been a thinly veiled allegory of The Christ, with his Clark Kent persona epitomizing Isaiah’s Suffering Servant, whose countenance Lois Lane would not think to look upon.

    Which raises the question, what does Lois think of the new androgynous Superperson? She (Is she still a “she”?) is probably lesbian or “bi-,” but can perhaps transfer her fetish for the Amazons — who cut off their breasts because they got in the way of wielding weapons of war — to his soft but semi-masculine pecs and smooth skin. The creative possibilities are endless, I suppose, now that both God (who created them male and female) and biology (God’s handiwork) are dead.
    O brave new world.

    Finally, should you become “Mr. Aspen” — a superhero for a super world — will you be flaunting your buns of steel?

  2. The Left, i.e., the NYT, ABCBSNBCNN, WaPo, DNC, Deep State, Big Tech, etc., are totalitarians. Period.

    To compel people to cancel motherhood in favor of “birthing person” is right out of Orwell’s 1984. To compel someone to deny objective truth in favor of a socially constructed “truth” manufactured by the Party of the State is totalitarianism … 2 + 2 = 5

    From George Orwell’s 1984:

    ‘In memory. Very well, then. We, the Party, control all records, and we control all memories. Then we control the past, do we not?’

    ‘But how can you stop people remembering things?’ cried Winston again momentarily forgetting the dial. ‘It is involuntary. It is outside oneself. How can you control memory? You have not controlled mine!’

    O’Brien’s manner grew stern again. He laid his hand on the dial.

    ‘On the contrary,’ he said, ‘you have not controlled it. That is what has brought you here. You are here because you have failed in humility, in self-discipline. You would not make the act of submission which is the price of sanity. You preferred to be a lunatic, a minority of one. Only the disciplined mind can see reality, Winston. You believe that reality is something objective, external, existing in its own right. You also believe that the nature of reality is self-evident. When you delude yourself into thinking that you see something, you assume that everyone else sees the same thing as you. But I tell you, Winston, that reality is not external. Reality exists in the human mind, and nowhere else. Not in the individual mind, which can make mistakes, and in any case soon perishes: only in the mind of the Party, which is collective and immortal. Whatever the Party holds to be the truth, is truth. It is impossible to see reality except by looking through the eyes of the Party. That is the fact that you have got to relearn, Winston. It needs an act of self-destruction, an effort of the will. You must humble yourself before you can become sane.’

    He paused for a few moments, as though to allow what he had been saying to sink in.

    ‘Do you remember,’ he went on, ‘writing in your diary, “Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four”?’

    ‘Yes,’ said Winston.

    O’Brien held up his left hand, its back towards Winston, with the thumb hidden and the four fingers extended.

    ‘How many fingers am I holding up, Winston?’


    ‘And if the party says that it is not four but five — then how many?’


    The word ended in a gasp of pain. The needle of the dial had shot up to fifty-five. The sweat had sprung out all over Winston’s body. The air tore into his lungs and issued again in deep groans which even by clenching his teeth he could not stop. O’Brien watched him, the four fingers still extended. He drew back the lever. This time the pain was only slightly eased.

    ‘How many fingers, Winston?’


    The needle went up to sixty.

    ‘How many fingers, Winston?’

    ‘Four! Four! What else can I say? Four!’

    The needle must have risen again, but he did not look at it. The heavy, stern face and the four fingers filled his vision. The fingers stood up before his eyes like pillars, enormous, blurry, and seeming to vibrate, but unmistakably four.

    ‘How many fingers, Winston?’

    ‘Four! Stop it, stop it! How can you go on? Four! Four!’

    ‘How many fingers, Winston?’

    ‘Five! Five! Five!’

    ‘No, Winston, that is no use. You are lying. You still think there are four. How many fingers, please?’

    ‘Four! five! Four! Anything you like. Only stop it, stop the pain!’


  3. As a kid I spent far less time and money on DC Comics than on EC Comics — especially “MAD,” which was like Voltaire for kids. Deliciously irreverent, it was pure brain candy.

    I’d like to think that if today’s school kids had a copy of MAD in their backpacks, they’d know exactly what to make of Critical Race Theory, Drag Queen Story Hour, library books about discovering one’s “gender,” and mask mandates. Soon they’d be joining their big brothers and sisters in chanting “Let’s go, Brandon” at football games.

    Although the cancel-culture left is humorless, I’d like to think that satire will win the day. To that end, keep up the good work, Glenn.

  4. The New York Times – formerly America’s “newspaper of record” of course Walter Duranty lied and got an award in the 30s and it still hangs in the NYT Building. I’ve lo0ng thought that handle was way over used. They have done a lot of damage over the years maybe now it’s true colors ARE showing.

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