All tuckered out from Pope play, President Poopy Pants falls fast asleep

Joe Biden visited the Pope. Politicians do this. The meetings are of course carefully scripted so that nothing controversial occurs, such as the Pope reminding the visitor that according to Church doctrine and scientific opinion a fetus is a living creature and the species is homo sapiens.

It’s not really a meeting; it’s a show. The president tries not to say something stupid while the Pope intimidates him with his Pope getup complete with the lamp shade hat.

This show is traditionally broadcast live. Just a few days before this one, however, the White House announced that it would not be. Because reasons. Unspecified ones.

We were told afterward by persons in whose interest it would be to tell us this, that the meeting went very well. In particular, the Commie Pope Pope Francis told Biden that he should continue to receive communion. Aborted fetuses don’t vote, don’t fill the offering plate and don’t tell tales.

All good and well and and predictable.

But a side story developed. According to the resistance, rumors circulated in Rome like a swirly in an overflowing toilet that the big meeting required an intermission due to, um, a bathroom incident. More specifically, an incident that is supposed to occur in a bathroom but didn’t. It seems in the course of meeting the Pope, the President pooped his pants.

Almost as entertaining as the rumor was the response of the so-called fact-checkers. You know, the professionals who told us the lab leak theory of COVID was false and we were racists to consider the possibility that it was true. The fact-checkers immediately declared the poopy pants story false.

But, of course, the fact-checkers have no access to the President’s drawers (I hope). They declared the rumor false not because they had hard (or soft) evidence of its falsity, but because they had no evidence that it was true.

This illustrates a double standard in the media fact checkers. If a factual contention reflects badly on Democrats, then the fact-checkers (all Dems because they’re all with Big Media) declare it false unless there is irrefutable evidence proving it is true. But if a fact reflects badly on Republicans, they declare it true unless there is irrefutable evidence proving it is false.

Whether this particular rumor is true or false, here’s something that is indisputably true: It got traction because the people of the world think it could be true. It could well be that this presidential papal pants poop scoop is true. We’ve seen that this president is undeniably capable of such things.

This is not just embarrassing, but potentially dangerous. Those rooms at the Vatican are already hot and stuffy. Imagine the conflagration if someone had lit a cigarette.

After his fill of papal playtime, the President went to hear a speech. He wasn’t the person speaking, so all he had to do was sit with his eyes open. He failed.

His eyelids drifted lower and lower and he was soon fast asleep. Of this rumor, there is hard evidence in the form of videotape. He drifted off until the end of the speech when an aide came and woke him up.

The White House handlers didn’t even try to deny the president’s slumber. They instead explained that he’s had a “busy schedule.”

Oh, well, that’s a relief. We’re assured that the President of the United States and leader of the free world doesn’t fall asleep on the job unless he has a busy schedule. And he doesn’t poop his pants because … you can’t prove he did, so shut up!.  

26 thoughts on “All tuckered out from Pope play, President Poopy Pants falls fast asleep

  1. The poopy pants part of this column is best left to 10-year old boys. Tsk. The slumber part requires some mercy. Jet lag is real and according to those who listened the speeches were indeed slumber inducing. Concentrate on the blather being foisted upon the public rather than an all too understandable septuagenarian slumber.

    • I’d feel sympathy for this septuagenarian if he was a grandpa in a nursing home, but poopy pants is the leader of the free world. I feel very scared. He and his minders are having too much fun wrecking everything they touch.

    • Hey, Oregon Jon, I’m surprised you didn’t remind us of how an equally travel-fatigued George Herbert Walker Bush threw up on the prime minister of Japan.

      Actually, that’s what should have happened in Rome, at this meeting between the imposter in The White House and the imposter sitting in The Chair of Peter — some good ol’ Linda Blair-style projectile vomiting. Real demons don’t poop themselves. They hurl.

      Real demons — such as Biden’s Marxist handlers — vomit on schoolchildren, on their parents, on families, on police departments, on Border Patrol agents on horseback, on taxpayers, on whole cities (such as Portland, Oregon Jon), on religion (except, of course, the religion of Climate Change and the Cult of Covidism), on biology itself, and on white people who bear the stamp of civilization.

      But poor ol’ Joe. All he can do is soil himself before going off to receive the Body of Christ with the Pope’s blessing.

  2. Gotta agree with Oregon Jon on this. This column says much more about it’s author than it’s “target.” Sad for an educated, once erudite conservative writer sink to this level. Not that the subject of our president’s physical condition isn’t worth writing about (remember Woodrow Wilson?), but “poopy pants?”

    • Just following Alinsky’s Rule for Radical that encourages ridicule. Gotta fight fire with fire, they say. Don’t be so pompous.

      • You betcha!!!! The Dems play by Alinsky rules; the Unipartiers lie down and play dead. Cluckers.

      • Remember that the lynchpin for Alinsky’s rules is The Big Lie……a standard part of the Democratic playbook beginning with Obama who idolized him.

  3. While pontificating to the Pope in Rome,
    Slow Joe Biden was overheard to moan:
    “Dear Pope as I sit,
    My pants I did shit,
    Do you have spare trousers to loan?”

    To this Benedict replied with asperity:
    “There’s no indulgence for your temerity,
    I’m starting to think,
    because of the stink,
    We’ll move back to Avignon with celerity.”

    Now the Pope was no Francis of Assissi,
    He thought the insult akin to Luther’s Theses,
    Until at a loss,
    added a Station to the Cross,
    To sanctify the desecration of Joe’s feces.

  4. Sheesh folks, get a life. Glenn nails it, as usual. No other president within my recollection has had the problems PedoJoe has, this is serious, and also somewhat funny.

      • No, Benedict lingers on, as the Ghost of Catholicism Past, a foil to Francis. Once known as “God’s Rottweiler” when he was Cardinal Ratzinger, Benedict — as David’s second stanza indicates — wouldn’t “take shit” from Biden, that is, consent to “sanctify the desecration” of Catholic belief and conduct that Biden represents. The mystery, of course, is why Benedict “abdicated” and made way for “George Soros in a white dress” and what Glenn calls “a lamp shade hat.”

  5. Glenn, please allow me to absolutely congratulate you on the column today, which was spot on, insightful and delightfully mean and vicious, as our current (p)resident deserves. He is, either intentionally or by dint of his mental absence, destroying this great nation. His speech to the gathered globalists at COP26 in Edinburgh evidences his utter disregard for the welfare of the people of this country, purportedly his country as well. He has pledged to destroy the economy, impoverish and immiserate the citizenry, all in the name of some “climate justice” initiative that not one other country on the face of the globe will implement, specifically not the worst global offenders, China and India. Biden has become an international laughingstock and pariah. Have we all seen the photograph of the assembled heads of state in which Biden is practically off the stage, occupying the spot usually reserved for the guy who brings coffee to the attendees? Yessiree, that’s our Good Old Joe from Scranton. The spoil sports who pretend to be… “better than that,” and decry your descent into scatological commentary can take a hike back to their troll caves, where they can congratulate themselves on their moral superiority while Joe Biden and the democrats continue to tear down the American edifice.

  6. As was written here several months ago, Biden has neither the physical stamina nor the mental acuity to be President (or, imho, the manager of a local bank). And the column is witty and spot on. Oh, and the Pope/Biden story is easily ten times more respectful and mature than many of the things said by Leftists about Donald Trump over the last six years.

  7. I’m glad to see Sleepy Joe relieve Kaitlin Bennett of the moniker “Poopy Pants,” with which she has been unfairly burdened lo these many years.

    After all the invective that was levelled at Trump, I have no reservations about leveling same at Joe and Hunter, and Alec Baldwin for that matter. Gander, meet Goose, not to mention sauce.


    What an embarrassment. At least when Mrs. Woodrow Wilson was running the country, her husband wasn’t on camera.

    I could use a mean tweet and a cup of covfefe right about now.

  8. Most every Democrat acquaintance I know has admitted they realize Joe is ridden with dementia, amongst his other life long, well documented, failures as a politician and human being, but still felt he was a better choice than Trump.
    Which just goes to show , to my mind anyway, how little they actually care about where Joe and his handlers are taking this country.
    They are typically the type of individual who ignores the social and financial realities of what the Progressives,( radical Marxists),
    mean to institute.

  9. Pingback: COVID suspended the rules of civilization – and we need them back | the Aspen beat

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