Is that all ya got, 2020?

Pfizer has sold $25 billion worth of Viagra and now they’ve raised the bar even higher. To keep their Viagra customers happy, healthy and horny, they invented a vaccine against COVID.

The FDA approved the vaccine for emergency use this month, years after approving Viagra for “emergency” use (isn’t all use of Viagra an emergency?). Viagra will of course retain its preeminence in the company, and so the vaccine will likely become known as “Pfizer’s Other Drug.”

Some say this medicine comes too soon, that it needs more testing, more time to get acquainted, more foreplay, more cuddling. I say baloney. Viagra comes not a moment too soon. Same with Pfizer’s Other Drug. If only they had come at the same time.

It was indeed a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am kind of year. It’s with proper social distancing, mind you, which can cramp one’s style among other things and attenuate both the whams and the bams. But in sex, Americans and all other people are resourceful.

Sadly, however, there appears not to be the pregnancy surge we often see after a city blackout. Although sperm are ingenious in navigating their way through the kind of person who identifies as a woman because she is one, they cannot navigate across a room or through a Zoom teleconference lens.

Continue reading

Might we have a Republican president — in 2023?

Yes, and that’s 2023, not 2024. Here’s how.

It all starts with Joe Biden’s truculently delinquent and pathological son, Hunter. You know, the guy who was and apparently still is a cocaine addict and was drummed out of the Navy. The deadbeat father who denied paternity and avoided support obligations to the mother whom he met at a strip joint.

But those are the least of his troubles. Hunter’s “business” is to monetize his dad’s political position. He did so in the Ukraine where Hunter was paid millions by an oil and gas company, though he probably doesn’t even pump his own gas. The payors of these millions thanked him for introductions to dad.

The Bidens admit that the son’s payments from the Ukraine were because he was Joe’s son – they couldn’t possibly deny that – but contend that the payments did not affect U.S. policy toward the Ukraine. In other words, they say they accepted the payola but it’s OK because they cheated the Ukrainians out of getting anything for it.

It’s a little like Hillary’s pay-to-play speech schemes. She demanded and received $250,000 payments for one-hour speeches from connected people who wanted political favors, but denies that she ever gave them the favors they paid for.

Continue reading

Having lost their boogeyman, the Dems will lose their evil radicalism

I voted twice for President Trump. But he has indisputably been a polarizing figure. He doesn’t seem to mind; he basks in his opponents’ hatred.

The Democrats are more than happy to oblige him. The last Republican they hated with this fervor and fever was Abraham Lincoln.

At least in the case of Lincoln, the Dem hatred was on the basis of policy, not personality. The Dems hated Lincoln for his policy against slavery. (An aside: many millennials think Lincoln was a Dem and the southern slave owners were Republicans. It’s possible they are taught that.)

In the case of Trump, the Dems originally hated him not for his policies but for his existence. They hated him because he denied the presidency to their anointed one, Hillary Clinton.

That hatred grew, as hatred does. The Dems went from a party a decade ago that preached love and compassion – though their talk was always better than their walk in that regard – to one that openly hates people who disagree with them. They cancel, censor, shout down and name-call. And they seem to delight in doing so.

Continue reading

“Experts” want to kill placebo-takers in order to gather more data

I’m a volunteer in the clinical trials for the Pfizer vaccine. I knew there was some risk in volunteering to take an unproven medicine. But I hoped that my participation might help me do well against the virus, and might also help me do good for humanity. My efforts to do well and do good have worked out fine, until now.

Understand that these studies are conducted with two distinct groups. One group gets the vaccine. The other group gets a placebo. The placebo is not medicine. It’s a simple saline shot that does nothing at all.

The reason for these two groups is to establish a placebo-taking “control group” against which both the efficacy and side effects of the vaccine can be measured in the vaccine-taking group. The study is “blinded,” meaning that the patients themselves don’t know whether they got the vaccine or the placebo. That’s to avoid tainting the results with “placebo effect” and “reverse placebo effect” symptoms.

Continue reading

After the lefty Aspen Times fired me, their readers and Karma voted me “Best Columnist” of Aspen

I was the token conservative columnist for seven years at the Aspen Times, the local lefty newspaper of Aspen, Colorado.

Despite Democrats outnumbering Republicans in Aspen by about a three-to-one margin, the clicks on my column dwarfed the pack of liberal columns and their predictable progressive pusillanimous pattering. In fact, my column was often the most popular thing in the entire newspaper, sometimes drawing more clicks than frontpage news.

I was occasionally picked up by national outlets like Real Clear Politics, Powerline, Lucianne, American Thinker and Instapundit. I drew clicks to the little Aspen Times from around the country.

But I was supposed to be a token, not a success. Last Christmas Eve without warning or discussion, they fired me via an email. They said my “values” were contrary to theirs. They also took some parting potshots at my writing, apparently forgetting that without complaint they’d published hundreds of iterations of that very writing.

They offered no thanks for my service, nor for my performing that service without compensation (the Aspen Times ordinarily paid its columnists, but I’d always declined any compensation).

Readers flooded the newspaper with letters objecting. It made no difference. The newspaper published only a small fraction of those letters.

It all worked out fine for me. My blog at theAspenbeat.com took off and I increased my readership nearly ten-fold. National outlets now link to my site more than ever.

Meanwhile, the Aspen Times is being smacked around by a sassy bitch named Karma. The internet is undermining their biggest source of revenue, namely real estate ads. Layoffs loom. They’ve been reduced to begging for charitable donations. They may need to change their name to Aspen Hard Times.

Karma still wasn’t done with them. The Aspen Times holds an annual “Best of Aspen” competition each fall where locals and visitors cast votes for their favorites in various categories. One category is “Best Columnist.”

Guess whom the readers decided was “Best Columnist” for 2020. Yep, even though the Aspen Times technically fired me as a columnist back in 2019 and so I wrote only a blog in 2020, their readers voted me “Best Columnist” of 2020.  (See page 8 here.)

A friend suggests that the newspaper should throw out those turkey leftovers. They have a full plate of crow to eat.

Best Columnist of Aspen!

Yeah, the votes are in, the recounts are completed, and the Electoral College hasn’t gone rogue. Over 7,000 locals and visitors, many of which are not illegal and not dead, together with essential help from colluding Russians of course, have named me “Best Columnist of Aspen.”

It’s on page 8 of the Aspen Magazine.

I admit to a certain satisfaction. This lefty outfit that conducted the contest is the same one to which I donated columns twice a month for seven years (I always declined compensation), only to be informed by a Christmas Eve email that they were terminating our relationship because my “values” didn’t comport with theirs.

Biden should pardon Trump

After four years of “resisting” President Trump with meaningless recounts, rogue electoral voters, groundless impeachment and specious claims of Russian collusion, not to mention unending name-calling and harassment of him and his family, the Democrats now urge the country to heal, to come together, to unify.

Behind them, that is.

In fairness, that’s what the winner always does in politics. The winner smears his opponent right up to election day. Then he forgives the target of his smears for being smear-worthy, and graciously invites him and his supporters to unify behind the smearer. This is politics, after all, where hypocrisy is an art form.

At least they’re mostly competent and honest about their hypocrisy, unlike their intellectual and ethical inferiors in what used to be called journalism.

This time, however, a unique opportunity presents on the political stage. But it will require elements that are missing from both journalism and politics. It will require compassion, cleverness and courage.

Joe Biden should pardon Donald Trump. You say Trump has done nothing to be pardoned for? Fine, I agree. But it would be compassionate, clever and courageous for Biden to pardon him anyway. Here’s why.

It would be compassionate because it would spare Trump and his family the angst of being unjustly prosecuted in the criminal justice system for what are really political matters. Prosecuting one’s vanquished opponents is what they do in banana republics, not in the United States of America.

I know there’s an element on the left that aspires to banana republic status, complete with Mao jackets, bread lines and firing squads. But most of us don’t.

If Biden wants us to unify behind him, what better way than for him to offer the first step? I’m old enough to remember when sports involved sportsmanship. The winner always offered his hand to the loser. It’s what ladies and gentlemen do, or at least they used to.

A pardon would be clever because it would put Trump in a difficult position of accepting or rejecting the pardon. Accepting implies that he did something wrong. But rejecting means he might then suffer a prosecution by politically motivated people. After the bias of the Mueller team which at the time of their appointment were highly regarded professionally, and the incompetent pettiness of Michael Flynn’s judge, no one doubts the existence of such creatures.

And it might indeed serve to unify some Trump supporters behind Biden, or at least serve to convey the message that Biden wants a respected and effective presidency, not distraction, vengeance and blood.

But a pardon would also require Biden’s courage in resisting the clinical hysteria of the hard left. They would protest in the streets, mostly peacefully of course, by setting fires in what used to be called arson, collecting reparations in what used to be called looting, and destroying property in what used to be called riots.

College classes would be cancelled because students would think they’re too distraught to attend, or at least that’s what their lefty professors would tell them to think.

Denied the blood of Trump and his family, the left would go after the blood of his supporters, and they’ve already put together lists. Hell hath no fury like a compassionate liberal who’s angry that he’s been denied his pound of flesh and equally angry that he’s been forced to admit that he wants it.  

The old empty suit that is set to assume the presidency of the United States is a lot of things, or used to be, but courageous is not one of them. He won’t stand up to the leftist mob that now constitutes the Democrat base.

But what a compassionate, clever and courageous move that would be.

My Congresswoman is packin’ heat and a lot more

Lauren Boebert is a petite 33-year old wife and mother of four boys. She gave birth to the third in the front seat of their pickup. She holds a GED in place of a high school diploma. Until last week, she’d never been to Washington, DC. She carries a Glock sidearm. (It’s a very fine piece, though I personally prefer my Beretta 9 mm, in stainless of course).  

She’s also the newly elected congresswoman representing us here in Aspen and the rest of western Colorado. To get elected, she first had to beat a five-term GOP congressman in the primary. There was nothing wrong with that congressman.

But there’s a lot right about Ms. Boebert. In fact, the New York Times calls her “hard right” which is good enough for me. (To the Times, of course, anyone who votes Republican is “hard right” in contrast to their “moderate right” columnists who vote for Democrats. By the way, when’s the last time they called anyone “hard left”?)

Boebert’s occupation has been to help run the family business in a town called, naturally, Rifle. That family business is a small restaurant called “Shooters Grill” where guns are worn by not just Boebert but also the waitresses.

Continue reading

News reporters should not be partisan Tweeters

Walter Cronkite

Can you imagine Walter Cronkite on Twitter? Neither can I.

Twitter is of course that vulgar platform where people send cryptic messages to their followers. The average length of a Tweet is 33 characters – one short, ungrammatical sentence. The platform was specifically designed for superficiality. It’s a place to be snide, snarky and self-promoting, not a place for reasoned debate or reliable information.

Twitter hosts “commentary” by the likes of Kim Kardashian who has 67 million followers and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez who has 10 million followers. And CNN anchor Jake Tapper who has three million followers and has posted 227,000 tweets.

Huh?

Yes, that’s right. An anchor of what used to be America’s most trusted news source promotes himself hundreds of times a day with cryptic, snarky Tweets. Many of those cryptic, snarky Tweets seek successfully to provoke cryptic, snarky Tweets in response by President Donald Trump.

Continue reading

My Pfizer vaccine is 90% effective, but why weren’t we told sooner?

Along with 40-some thousand other people around the world, I’m enrolled in the clinical trials for the Pfizer COVID vaccine. All has gone well for me, and I’ve had no side effects. Of course, I’ve followed closely the progress of the trials, and I occasionally receive updates from Pfizer.

Pfizer announced yesterday that its early review suggests that the vaccine is astonishingly effective – over 90%. The FDA has previously said that it will approve a safe vaccine that exceeds 50% efficacy.

These early Pfizer results are based on 94 COVID cases that have been identified in the tens of thousands of trial patients. The company’s 90% efficacy determination suggests that all or nearly all those cases occurred in the 50% of the patients who received the placebo, and hardly any or perhaps none at all occurred in the other 50% who received the actual vaccine.

Pfizer plans to manufacture over a billion doses in 2021. A dozen other companies are also in final testing of vaccines. Scientists say the Pfizer results bode well for the other vaccines.

The end of the pandemic is in sight. The stock market soared and scientists rightly congratulated themselves.

Continue reading