Here come da judge….

– Pigmeat Markham

Take a load off Fanny….

– The band

Lawyering is hard work. First, you have to get a college degree. OK, that’s not hard work; that’s a four-year summer camp these days. But then you have to get into law school.

Once in law school, you waste three years being taught a lot of BS, but they never teach how to practice law. I got an ‘A’ in Property Law but was never taught how to buy a house. I got an ‘A’ in Contract Law but never drafted – or even read – a contract. I got an ‘A’ in Civil Procedure but was never taught when to stand up in a courtroom and when to sit down.

Then you have to take the Bar Exam to become a licensed lawyer. It’s in studying for the Bar Exam for a month that you finally learn some law. But you still don’t know how to buy a house, draft a contract, or when to stand up and when to sit down.

Then you have to find a job. That can be challenging. If you find a job in private practice, you have to bust your nuts for 5-10 years to make partner.

And you’re forever an hourly worker. At some point, your hourly pay can add up to a lot. But you’re never making money while you sleep. You make money by the hour.

(An old lawyer joke: A successful, fit lawyer died and went to heaven. At the gate, he told Saint Peter there must be a mistake. He explained that he was only 48 years old. His saintliness looked at his scrolls, peered over his reading glasses at the newly dead lawyer, and said, “Huh. According to your billing records, you’re 117 years old. And you’re in the wrong place.”

All that said, I loved practicing law. It was a privilege, and I was fortunate to enjoy it with some remarkable people. But it’s no picnic, and certainly no vacation in Aruba.

Which brings us to a charming Georgia peach of a lawyer named Fanny. Er, I mean Fani. I’m told that the difference between Fanny and Fani is the pronunciation. The latter is pronounced FAW-nee. Or maybe it’s Faw-NEE.

However you pronounce the name, it’s particularly fitting for this woman, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, this steatopygiatic Fanny Fani is the District Attorney in Fulton County, Georgia who is prosecuting Donald Trump for the purpose of advancing her career under the pretense of prosecuting him for saying things he shouldn’t have.

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