Monthly Archives: February 2024

My apology to President Trump

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I voted for Donald Trump twice. But I’ve never used the words “altruistic” or “generous” to describe him. In fact, whenever my support for Trump came up, I always hastened to add, a little sanctimoniously, that I don’t like the man personally.

I might be changing my mind. Here’s why.

Trump didn’t need to go into politics. He’s a billionaire. He had everything a man could want, including a gorgeous ex-model for a wife. (Money is a more potent aphrodisiac than power. Sorry, Henry Kissinger – you’d have known that if only you’d had money.)

Trump went into politics anyway. Sure, there was an ego factor. I hope it doesn’t surprise you that successful men have egos. So do successful women.

But Trump could have exercised that healthy ego in many other ways involving less risk and less cost. He could have bought a cruise ship, or a gold-plated 747, or donated a billion dollars to get a medical center named after him, or started a charitable foundation – a real one, not like the Clinton Foundation.

He instead chose to run for president back in 2016. That doesn’t make him Mother Teresa, but it makes him a lot closer to Mother Teresa than to Joe Biden – the guy who has spent a lifetime in politics because he’s been a failure at every other thing in life, including parenting, and whose lifetime in politics has been primarily for the purpose of lining the greasy, grafty and grifty pockets of himself and his cheesy, sleazy family.

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Fani for Vice President!

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The sun is setting on Fani’s career as a lawyer, and she’ll be seeking other career opportunities.

First, let’s recap why her law career is ending.  

Fani’s case against Donald Trump includes a preposterous RICO charge for violating the racketeering laws. Fani has no expertise in that arcane law, so she hired her boyfriend and paid him three-quarters of a million taxpayer dollars for his expertise. Never mind that he, too, has no such expertise, having never tried a RICO case.

The scheme worked well for Fani and the boyfriend, for a while. The boyfriend took Fani on expensive vacations to exotic places, paid for by the taxpayer money he received from Fani’s office. Fani says she always paid him back for her half, but the payback was in untraceable cash that she kept around the house. There’s no bank record of her withdrawing that cash, and no bank record of him depositing that cash.

To casual observers, and, more importantly, to the judge, this all looked a little crafty and grafty.

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How Woke Liberals Ruined Aspen – the Quiet Years

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My book about the decline of Aspen was published last year, entitled “High Attitude — How Woke Liberals Ruined Aspen.” It debuted at Number 6 on Amazon in its category of political books. That put the book in rarified air with the likes of Tucker Carlson and Jesse Watters (who helped me promote it when I appeared on his show).

Although I’m no longer in the stratosphere with Tucker and Jesse, sales are still climbing and, more importantly, so are royalties. You can get the book at Amazon or Barnes and Noble for $18 or $8 for the e-version.

Meanwhile, here’s a teaser. It’s Chapter Two, about the odd period between the silver boom and the post-WWII boom, entitled “Cows, Potatoes and Ghosts — the Quiet Years.”

high-attitude-ch-2Download

Here come da judge – and he’s gonna take a load off Fani

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Here come da judge….

– Pigmeat Markham

Take a load off Fanny….

– The band

Lawyering is hard work. First, you have to get a college degree. OK, that’s not hard work; that’s a four-year summer camp these days. But then you have to get into law school.

Once in law school, you waste three years being taught a lot of BS, but they never teach how to practice law. I got an ‘A’ in Property Law but was never taught how to buy a house. I got an ‘A’ in Contract Law but never drafted – or even read – a contract. I got an ‘A’ in Civil Procedure but was never taught when to stand up in a courtroom and when to sit down.

Then you have to take the Bar Exam to become a licensed lawyer. It’s in studying for the Bar Exam for a month that you finally learn some law. But you still don’t know how to buy a house, draft a contract, or when to stand up and when to sit down.

Then you have to find a job. That can be challenging. If you find a job in private practice, you have to bust your nuts for 5-10 years to make partner.

And you’re forever an hourly worker. At some point, your hourly pay can add up to a lot. But you’re never making money while you sleep. You make money by the hour.

(An old lawyer joke: A successful, fit lawyer died and went to heaven. At the gate, he told Saint Peter there must be a mistake. He explained that he was only 48 years old. His saintliness looked at his scrolls, peered over his reading glasses at the newly dead lawyer, and said, “Huh. According to your billing records, you’re 117 years old. And you’re in the wrong place.”

All that said, I loved practicing law. It was a privilege, and I was fortunate to enjoy it with some remarkable people. But it’s no picnic, and certainly no vacation in Aruba.

Which brings us to a charming Georgia peach of a lawyer named Fanny. Er, I mean Fani. I’m told that the difference between Fanny and Fani is the pronunciation. The latter is pronounced FAW-nee. Or maybe it’s Faw-NEE.

However you pronounce the name, it’s particularly fitting for this woman, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, this steatopygiatic Fanny Fani is the District Attorney in Fulton County, Georgia who is prosecuting Donald Trump for the purpose of advancing her career under the pretense of prosecuting him for saying things he shouldn’t have.

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Their combined age is 158; let that sink in

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I sometimes forget to zip up after using the bathroom. Thankfully, I don’t have to take my pants off in the bathroom because, if I did, I’m sure I would sometimes forget to put them back on. I would lose pants and party invitations the way I used to lose umbrellas and girlfriends.

In my prime, I occasionally beat the chess computer. Those days are gone. Nowadays, I’m lucky if I can find the goddam chess computer.

My fast ball? It left so fast it left my head spinning.

I’ve lost my keys so many times that I bought a gizmo to put on my keychain so that I can use my phone to make the keychain ring. Now if only I could find my phone. Soon I’ll be trying to start the car with my phone and trying to telephone people with my keys.

Mea culpa. I admit it. I stipulate to it. I confess. I do not have the mental capacity or physical strength to be president of these United States.

We’re on the brink of nominating for president two men older than I, who are even less physically and mentally fit for that job.

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The Aloha Court just overruled the U.S. Supreme Court

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In 2008, the United States Supreme Court decided in the Heller case that the Second Amendment right to bear arms applies not just to militias, but also to individual people. While militias are mentioned in the Amendment, the noun to which the right is granted is the “people.”

Individuals are “people.”

After Heller, much teeth-gnashing and garment-rending ensued from the left. They had hoped that the Second Amendment applied only to militias. There being essentially no legal militias in the country anymore, that would mean the Second Amendment would apply to nobody.

And so, nobody could have guns. Well, nobody could have guns legally. Anyone with a gun would be in possession of it illegally. (You know where I’m going with this.) Such illegal possession of a gun would be outside the law. The possessor would be an outlaw. When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns.

You gotta admit, that’s a pretty good line.

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Joe Biden’s insanity defense

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Is he faking it?

Yesterday, the special prosecutor (technically called a “special counsel” these days, a term which obfuscates in my opinion) released his report on his investigation of Joe Biden’s mishandling of classified documents.

(It was not a good day for the Democrats. On the same day, the Supreme Court signaled in oral argument that they intend to smack down four publicity-hungry Colorado Supreme Court justices/activists who canceled Donald Trump from the Colorado ballot. My condolences to those four partisan hacks whose 15 minutes of fame is about to expire. And my congratulations to the three spirited dissenters on that same court, who’ve been vindicated.)

The special prosecutor’s investigation concerned Biden’s removal of highly classified materials from government offices including the White House. He put the materials into his garage, his basement, his beach house, his Corvette . . . you know, all the places you keep the nation’s top secrets.

He did this numerous times.

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Based on today’s oral arguments, it will probably be a decision for Trump

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As I expected and predicted, the Supreme Court will probably decide the Trump/Colorado case in favor of Trump.

I doubt the decision will be unanimous. On the liberal side, Justice Sotomayor was outspoken in her questions to Trump’s lawyer (Jonathan Mitchell who was arguing his sixth Supreme Court case). Justice Kagan’s questions, too, suggest to me that she will come down against Trump.

Justice Brown Jackson was hard to read, with questions that seemed sympathetic to Mitchell’s point that the 14th Amendment bar fails to mention the presidency and also sympathetic to Trump’s due process argument – the argument that he was effectively convicted of the high crime of insurrection without ever being charged with it.  

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Biden’s border blame game is a cynical lie and everyone knows it

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Immediately upon taking office, Joe Biden reversed President Trump’s “stay-in-Mexico” policy. Under that policy, immigrants seeking asylum were required to stay in Mexico or their home country while applying for asylum in the United States.

The alternative – followed by the preceding Obama Administration – is for the immigrants to enter the country with the proviso that they have to show up for a hearing some months or years in the future to determine their asylum claim. Of course, many immigrants never showed up for their hearings, and simply remained in the country illegally.

Which brings us to a semantics point. People who choose words precisely call these immigrants who are in the county illegally, “illegal immigrants.” Other people, whose choice of words is subordinate to their political leanings, instead use various euphemisms.  

The euphemism crowd wants not to call illegal immigrants “illegal immigrants” because such a term suggests that they are acting illegally. Most of us frown on illegal acts (though a growing number apparently don’t).

Think of it as a branding strategy, something like calling garbage collectors “sanitation engineers” or calling communists “liberals.”

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Culture crash; thank the liberals

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Remember when America’s great cities were great? San Francisco, New York, Chicago and other major cities were centers of art, culture, wealth, sophistication, and shopping.

Now, the cities are overrun with vagrants. Liberal judges decided that people have a Constitutional right (see, Martin v. Boise) to camp on the sidewalks and poop in the gutter, because stopping them from doing so constitutes cruel and unusual punishment for violating the laws that prohibit them from doing so.

Crimes such as shoplifting have been de-criminalized. The outcomes are predictable to anyone but a liberal: This new retail mode where payment is optional has produced more cases where people choose not to; Store owners, from small family-owned hardware stores to Walmart, are leaving the cities because they can’t make money if they can’t charge for their goods; liberals are shrieking “racists!”

Laws against dangerous drugs have been relaxed. The result is more dangerous drugs and drug addicts. Duh.

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