Tag Archives: debate

News flash! Biden’s family decides four more years of a Biden presidency would be good for them

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14

In the aftermath of Joe Biden’s catastrophic, no-good, debate/debacle last week, he met with his trusted advisors to decide whether to drop out of the race.

You might ask, who are those trusted advisors? Barack Obama and Michelle? Hillary Clinton and Bill? Surely, seasoned Democrat politicians like Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer, right? Maybe some big donors and fundraisers and pollsters?

No, no, no, no, no, no way, and hell no. He instead met with his family.

Before you think how sweet, let’s review the curricula vitae of this crew.

First, there’s First Son, Hunter. His resume shows most recently a felony gun conviction for which he’s awaiting sentencing that could be as much as 25 years in the federal pen.

Upcoming is his trial on tax evasion. The taxes he evaded are on the proceeds of his influence-peddling schemes where he sold access to Dad to foreign companies and governments, including China (notwithstanding Dad’s denial that he ever got money from China).

It gets worse. The guy is a documented dead-beat, paternity-denying dad who contends he doesn’t even remember his months-long affair with the mom – which might actually be true since he’s also a chronic crack addict. He was recently disbarred from the practice of law, not that he ever really practiced law.

Then there’s the First Daughter, Ashley. She would be a certifiable nobody but for the fact that her diary was stolen – a diary in which she wrote about how her dad used to join her in the shower when she was a little girl.

Then there’s the First Brother, James. He’s second only to Hunter in monetizing Joe’s political offices as Senator, Vice President and now President. He’s raked in millions. He once told the principals of a company he invested in not to worry about finances because “We’ve got people all around the world who want to invest in Joe Biden.”

Then there’s Navy. She’s the illegitimate and disowned daughter of Hunter. Navy’s mom had to sue Hunter for child support. The mom won. Then Hunter failed to pay the ordered support, still claiming he was not the father even though DNA tests proved he was.

Joe pretended for years that Navy didn’t exist. He spoke of his six grandchildren, conspicuously leaving out the seventh, Navy. To this day, neither Joe nor Hunter has ever mentioned Navy or publicly acknowledged her.

I doubt five-year-old Navy was present at the all-hands-on-deck Biden family meeting to discuss whether Joe should stay in the race, since Joe and Hunter not only disowned her, but never owned her to begin with. I hope she was there, however, as she would have been the adult in the room.

Then there’s the First Wife, who is actually Joe’s second wife. The first wife died in a car accident when she pulled out in front of a truck. Never one to miss the opportunity to capitalize politically on a family tragedy, Joe has been lying ever since that she was a victim of a drunk driver. In truth, the accident was her fault, and the truck driver tested negative for alcohol.

It’s difficult to call the second First Wife the First “Lady,” given that her relationship with Joe started when she was still married and living with her first husband.

Second First Wife “doctor” Jill is a doctor. Sorta. She’s not a medical doctor, mind you. Nor does she have a Ph.D. She has a doctorate in education. It’s a Ed.D. That’s pronounced “Eddie.” The second First Wife is an “Eddie.”

She even wrote a doctorate thesis. Sorta. It has a typo in the first paragraph. She asks to be addressed as “doctor.” The poodle press dutifully complies because she’s married to a Democrat President. Heck, they’d address her as “Your Royal Highness” if she asked them to.

Speculation abounds that it is second First Wife “doctor” Jill who’s running the White House. Indeed, Joe’s sophomoric speeches have the look of an amateur, self-important, would-be speechwriter who makes typos in a bogus doctoral thesis.

So, that’s apparently the cohort of family members who met to discuss whether Joe should continue to be president for another four-plus years in the wake of his big reveal last week to 51 million Americans that he’s semi-somnolent. Those are the people whose judgment Joe Biden trusts in deciding the fate of the United States of America.

The family had two alternatives to choose from.

Alternative One: “Well, it’s been a good run,” they could tell themselves. “We made tens of millions of dollars and hobnobbed around the world. But the jig’s up. They’re onto us. And Joe is senile. He just might say or do something that puts us in jail. Besides, Joe is actually endangering the country. Remember the nuclear button and all that jazz. By the way, where did he leave that thingamajig?”

And so, they could say to Joe, “We love you and you’ve done a fantastic job as President. But we don’t have that many years left with you. Please quit this crazy race. We know you’re strong, but let a younger man take the helm. Let’s spend some time on the beach together.”

Alternative Two: “Hey, raking in tens of millions of dollars for doing nothing is nice, and we’d like it to continue,” they tell themselves. “And besides, if it ends now, then we might not get a Presidential pardon. The nuclear button? Aw, let the White House aides keep track of the slippery thing.”

And so, they could say to Joe, “We love you and you’ve done a fantastic job as President. The country needs you for another four years (and so do we). I know it’s a sacrifice to live in the White House with great food, comfortable digs and etc., but for the country (and us) you should do it for another four years.

Guess which alternative they chose.

Joe and Jill are goners who won’t go

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9

Joe Biden just delivered the worst televised debate performance in history.

It started in his opening remarks when he hurriedly regurgitated a canned speech like a nervous 11th grader in speech class, it continued into the early stages when he repeatedly suffered brain freezes in describing, for example, how he “beat Medicare,” and finally ended mercifully with a forgettable conclusion.

Even – especially – Democrats were stunned by his awkward, rambling incoherency and open-mouthed, vacant stares into space.

If this were a fight, a TKO would have been called in the first round. If this were softball, the Ten-Run Rule would have been invoked in the first inning.

The senility clips of the last few months which the White House defensively labelled “cheap fakes” as late as last week have now grown into a full 90-minute TV reality show. If you’re a Democrat, it’s like a bloody car wreck — it’s impossible to ignore and impossible to watch.  It was moderated by Biden’s hand-picked partisans at Democrat-friendly CNN, but the night was owned by an emcee named Donald Trump.

The editorial board of The New York Times – The New York friggin’ Times! – called on Biden to withdraw from the race. This is after he corralled 90-some percent of the Democratic delegates and is assured of a first vote win at the convention. Another Democrat pundit called him “toast.” Another said his performance was “painful.” Democrat organ Politico summed it up with “Democrats freak out.”

But Biden won’t withdraw. The very next day he was being escorted around by “doctor” Jill to badly read poor speeches off cheap teleprompters. We have no reports yet whether he read such parenthetical words as “pause for applause” from the teleprompter. Such gaffes are so common by him now that they’re barely reported anymore.

He won’t drop out because the “doctor” and her patient are addicted to the perks of the office of the Presidency of the United States. The digs are nice, the food is exquisite, the butt-kissing is sublime, and the airplane travel is first class (provided he doesn’t fall down or up the shortened stairs of Airforce One).

It’s the zombie presidency. The un-dead presidency. It’s dead but still twitches a destructive Executive Order or two spoon-fed to them by squirrely adolescent staffers until the Supreme Court throws it out. Even then they boast that they’ll do it again, the Supreme Court be damned. They’re the walking dead.

So, they plan to hang around. Screw the party, screw the country, screw the world. Something about them reminds me of the cheap, chiseling couple running the restaurant in Les Misérables. The illegitimate masters of the White House. But they’re not masters, they’re squatters. You want them out? You’ll have to vote them out. And even then you might have to evict them with the aid of the 82nd Airborne.

The only surprise from the debate was that the Democrats were surprised. Inexplicably, they were surprised that Biden delivered a performance consistent with his public performance over the last three years.

Where have these Dems been?

I predicted beforehand that Biden would do a little better than Republicans expected. He would not drool, not fall down and not sniff Trump’s hair, as many Republicans expected.

My prediction was correct. (I also predicted that Trump would do better than expected. I was right about that too. This guy is teachable, even if he sometimes goes out of his way to deny it.)

Democrats, however, apparently expected much better from Biden. They expected him to perform as if he was reading a teleprompter – despite the hard fact that over the last three years he’s shown little ability to do that.

It was a case of Democrats engaging in wishful thinking, or perhaps just coming to believe their own propaganda. In any case, their surprise at Biden’s poor performance was surprising to me.

The result was a Democrat piling-on. I wonder if the piling-on was designed to cover for their willful blindness over the past three years. Nobody’s saying “I’m with Joe” anymore, and instead they’re busy deleting the tweets where they said that just a few months ago.

It bodes badly for Biden and for a Democrat White House. The next set of polls will show Biden down by 6-8 points – at a stage in the election where he was ahead by 10 points in the close one of 2020.

It’s apt to get worse from there. Biden is entering laughing stock territory – Dan Quayle and Kamala Harris territory.

It’s hard to recover from being a laughing stock. People don’t vote for a laughing stock.

Only Biden himself – with a teleprompter-enabled speech from the Oval Office graciously announcing his withdrawal – can rescue the Democrats from themselves and probably only “doctor” Jill can rescue Biden from himself. But that would take a lot more courage, acumen and selflessness than either has ever shown.

Expect both candidates to do better than you expect

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6

The debates will be interesting this time, because both candidates have the opportunity to change some minds. Joe Biden could change some minds that have decided he’s too old to be president. Donald Trump could change some minds that have decided he’s too much a jerk.

Will they succeed?

Probably, to some extent. In Biden’s case, it’s because expectations are extraordinarily low. Even Democrats think he’s too old. Republicans think he’s so old that he’s likely to forget where he is (as he appears to do from time to time), fall down (as he has done several times on camera), and perhaps sniff Trump’s hair.

Biden will exceed those expectations.

I’m not saying he’ll deliver great lines, such as “You’re no Jack Kennedy” or “I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent’s youth and inexperience.” That failure won’t be because he will not have been fed such lines by his debate coaches; he will have been. Rather, it will be because he lacks the stage presence of Ronald Reagan and Lloyd Bentsen, and he lacks the memory to even remember the lines he will have been fed.

But he won’t fall down, he won’t forget where he is, and he won’t sniff anyone’s hair. In fact, he’ll be so pumped up with pharmaceuticals – as he apparently was at the State of the Union Address a few months ago – that he won’t appear sleepy at all. He’ll be preternaturally charged up.

It’ll be spooky. Think Energizer Bunny with hair plugs and tooth caps.

Despite Biden’s meme that he’s running again because he’s the only one who can beat Trump, his handlers know the truth. He’s about the only Democrat who can lose to Trump – mainly due to concern among even Democrats and certainly Independents that he’s too old and too far gone.

The handler’s efforts this week will focus on dispelling that concern. With the aid of pharmaceuticals and low expectations, they’ll succeed to some small degree.

As for Trump, most Republicans tend not to have much personal affection for the man. If Dan Quayle was no Jack Kennedy, Donald Trump is no Ronald Reagan.

Democrats loath (and fear) Trump to the point they think he will appear on horseback with three other riders, or perhaps with a chain saw in-hand, or might spin his head 360 degrees on his shoulders and vomit at the camera.

I predict Trump will not do any of that.

The man seems to have changed a bit. If Biden appears chemically stimulated, Trump appears slightly sedated in comparison to the Trump of the past. Moreover, even the experts are surprised at the quality of his campaign. He’s getting good advice, and seems to be taking that advice.

The 2016 election was a lark for Trump. He surprised everyone – including himself – by winning. Unfortunately, what he learned from that was to ignore the advice of seasoned politicos in the 2020 election – and so he lost (probably).  

Some of the advice that Trump is taking this time is about his debating style. In the 2016 and 2020 debates with Hillary and then Biden, he misapprehended the nature of a debate. He thought a debate was an argument. He repeatedly cut off Biden even as Biden was stumbling and mumbling. The effect was to save Biden from himself.

This time, Trump appreciates that a debate is not a personal argument with his wife. It’s a moderated show with a television audience.

Trump at heart is a showman, perhaps the best in politics since that professional showman Ronald Reagan. This time, he knows to keep quiet to let the stumbling and mumbling Biden continue stumbling and mumbling. Moreover, under the rules of this particular debate, Trump will not be able to interject even if he wants to because each candidate’s microphone will be muted during the other’s response to moderator questions.

It could be painful to watch, if you’re a Democrat. At least until the moderators interject to save Biden. Trump’s microphone will be muted during Biden’s stumbling and mumbling routine, but the moderators’ will not be.

Here’s another thing Trump will do, as any seasoned performer would. He’ll use a little self-deprecation. He’ll use it well, because people won’t expect it from him. If Trump pokes a bit of fun at himself, it might be the most memorable moment. It will either be a hit or, without a live audience, it could fall flat. If it falls flat, don’t expect the moderators to bail him out Ed McMahon style.

So . . . next week we’ll have a new race. The senile incumbent will have a bit of a pulse and the a-hole challenger will seem not quite so bad. America might survive another four years.