An AI-generated speech shouted at the teleprompter by an angry old man on amphetamines

This week was the ridiculous annual spectacle where the president is supposed to tell us the state of our so-called union, as if we don’t already know. That’s a particularly appropriate topic for the current president who was elected on the promise that he would be a “uniter, not divider” who would bring normalcy and decency back to the office.

A few seconds into it, this “uniter, not divider” was implying that the people who currently disfavor his re-election, a cohort comprising over half the country – and especially his “predecessor” whose name must not be spoken – were in league with Vladimir Putin.

It almost made me miss the good old pre-1989 Democrats who liked Russia.

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Lame Duck on the Loose!

Obama“The bear’s on the loose!” That’s what President Barack Obama reportedly likes to say when a herd of Secret Service agents escort him out of the White House.

He pretends that he’s sneaking out but makes a point of telling everyone. They, in turn, are instructed to relay this “news” to the fawning White House press reporters.

It’s supposed to be great theater. Think of Yogi the Bear, but skinny with big ears and mom jeans.

But Bear-ack Obama and his keepers don’t lumber off to Jellystone Park. Instead, they typically helicopter to the first tee, where he’s been sighted 208 times since becoming president. The closest this bear gets to the woods is the rough, where he and his pack of Secret Service agents are often seen foraging for his lost balls. (His proficiency at golf is apparently uncorrelated to his practice at it.)

Meanwhile, back at the Capitol Continue reading